Never say Never

I’m never going to overeat again. I’m never going to eat something I didn’t plan to eat again. I’m always going to stick to my diets and food plans.

This is something most people won’t say. Why? because we can instantly hear that nagging voice saying, well how do you know what will happen in the future? You’re going to fail again, you know you will, how many times have you failed before? and then you’ll just look like a liar.

How do you know? Well if you’ve ever been a food a holic, then those first statements are exactly what you need to be saying. Society (research institutes, a lot of big food companies, etc.) has definitely held us back in this area. Let me give you a different example:

An alcoholic: “I’m never drinking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Smoker: “I’m never smoking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Drug Addict: “I’m never doing drugs again”

Society: “Good for you”

Overeater/Overweight: “I’m never overeating again”

Society: “Now, wait just a minute, that’s an unrealistic goal to set for yourself, your just setting yourself up for failure, and once you do overeat, (because we all know you will) your just going to lose your confidence. No, you can’t say that, it’s too complicated to just say ‘never’. If people could do that we wouldn’t have all these diets. It’s impossible.

Can you see the blatent difference, and then what does society tell people when they do get off the bandwagon, say an alcoholic.

Alcoholic: I went two weeks and then I broke down and had a drink, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never drink again.

Society: Good for you, that’s the spirit, don’t let one set back ruin your hard work. You can do it!

Overeater/Overweight:  I went two weeks before I ate something not on my diet, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never overeat again.

Society: See I told you you would fail. You’re goal is too high, that’s just part of being human, you can’t say never. You just failed, why are you saying your going to stick to it now, clearly you can’t. Diets are just a set up for failure, why are you even trying? You can’t say you will Never get off a diet, see what happens?

And it just continues. I mean how crazy is that? In a society where fat is killing at almost the same rates as cigarettes, and you aren’t allowed to say, I’ll never binge again. Your not setting yourself up for failure, if you can’t say it, your already admitting defeat. You’re acknowledging to yourself that you are not in control of yourself. Sure some people may need more help through the process then others, but it’s still for the same goal. To be the weight you want, and have the health you want. This takes control, and knowing things like, I am in full control of my body and what I eat. Not sometimes, not most of the time, but everyday all day. If I mess up, then I need to figure out what happened and how to fix it in the future. You will always be you in the present, when you control the you in this moment, you don’t have to worry about any other.

There is a book called ‘Never Binge Again’ by Glenn Livingston. If your an emotional eater, think about food all the time, or don’t think you can stick to a diet, this is definitely a worthwhile read. I stumbled upon it online, when I was researching why people overeat. I’d call it a revolutionary way to think and address food addiction. The main thing I have fought is not feeling miserable when I’m on a diet. When your doing great, and then someone walks by with a thick slice of pizza and the aroma lingers in the room. It can be hard to function on a diet while your living with normal people in society.
Anyways, after reading the book, someone can be eating lasagna at work next to me, and I’m actually okay with it, normal, not miserable. Sometimes it puts me in a better mood, because I’m in such shock that I can be perfectly fine with it, when it would have been hell before. And maybe it won’t work as well for you, I’m usually a skeptic, but if it helps in some way, it would be worth it. I got the book for a free download on, I think, Amazon, just to add to my research. It’s not a diet either, just a way to address dieting, food, binging, and the like. If your like me and have (had) a love hate relationship with food, then it’s worth your time to read. I’m glad I did, but I’ll keep you posted with the results, I’ve been applying the methods for about a week, with a huge difference. I can confidently say, I Will Never Overeat Again For The Rest Of My Life 🙂

Can you?

You vs. You

“Deciding whether to smoke or not is a behavior,” she said. “The weight your body is is not a behavior.””

(image –

What has our world come to? This was said by a Psychologist from California specializing in eating disorders and a member of the advisory board for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance.

Fat Acceptance? There is actually an Association to advance fat acceptance. Seems hard to believe. Fat seems to be doing just fine, I don’t think it needs any help. That’s like having an association to advance Black Plague Acceptance.

“According to the National Institutes of Health, obesity and overweight together are the second leading cause of preventable death in the United States, close behind tobacco use (3). An estimated 300,000 deaths per year are due to the obesity epidemic”


“The risk of mortality increased with increasing BMI at all ages and for all categories of death”

300,000 deaths is why they call it an epidemic. Getting close to a million deaths every 3 years. That’s just deaths. If a million die, how many are sick, suffering, and in pain, but still alive? What would the toll be for a million families and society, and that’s only in America. I see headlines of shooters or bombers, but imagine if they killed 300,000? What kind of outcry would there be? What kind of damage?

And yet, even with that insane number of PREVENTABLE deaths, there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. The Psychologist went on to say that it’s wrong to shame fat people because it is their body, the person themself that you are attacking. That’s like telling someone to love their cancer because it is a part of them, it is their personal identity. Insane, right? All I see is posters that say to fight cancer with everything you have, and find a cure. But love your fat self, which is the reason you have cancer? A quick google check will show that the risk for getting practically every form of cancer, increases with being overweight. We should be viewing excess fat as a toxic poison that kills. It’s as much a part of who you are and your identity as brain cancer. You don’t accept brain cancer, you don’t say this is the real me, and your a terrible person if you want me to be healthy and cancer free. Yet the toxic fat people say is a part of who they are, is physically killing them at extremely high numbers.

It should be a crime for a parent to have their child be obese. People don’t think twice about it being illegal for a parent to give a two year old a cigarette or alcohol. Yet obesity is killing at almost the same rates as smoking. Why is one okay to shun, yet the other, which is killing kids, is politically incorrect to shun? There are society’s that have historically ostracized being fat, like Japan. Even company employees would be weighed, and if you are over a certain weight then the company gets fined. But guess what, they haven’t had an obesity problem. They use fat shaming, a lot, and it works. But the trajedy is that even though they have a history of having some of the longest and healthiest lives, I can already here the fat acceptance brigades’ criticism. I’m sure there are already articles that say it doesn’t work, they are just being mean, and the like.

And yeah I’ve taken plenty of criticism myself. There are plenty of overweight victims, that think no one is allowed to have an opinion about their lifestyle, their toxic lifestyle that is killing themselves, their kids, and placing a huge burdon on society. It’s just sad that unless I explain that I was overweight and lost weight, they just call you judgemental, and ignore you. I have then gotten people who want to know specific numbers, because they get to be the judge on if you really weighed enough to have a say so, only if you used to be what they consider ‘fat’, can you say all this without them giving you this ‘your such a terrible person look’.

What it boils down to, is I want people to be healthy, when I see kids diagnosed with cancer, because they have been eating nothing but toxic junk since they were born, I can’t take it. I don’t accept that this is just how people are, and I should applaude they they accept themselves for it. I hate it. I hate people dying from preventable diseases. I hate people having fat dictate what they can and can’t do. Company softball game? sorry I can’t because my fat gets me wheezy, and I can’t really run. And I hate how it makes you feel. The logical response would be to want to lose weight, not convince yourself that being overweight is fine. That’s the reason I could lose weight, I hated being overweight. And I hate seeing people who are overweight, because I have something called empathy. I don’t want them going to an early grave, having partial functionality in their daily lives, getting a disease, hating how they feel, and passing all that on to their kids. Society shouldn’t accept this either. Fat Acceptance clearly isn’t working. Fat isn’t you, it’s killing you. And contrary to apparently what these physchologists would tell you, you’re the absolutely only person who decides what you weigh.

Maybe we can’t fix this overnight, but it would be nice to stop celebrating excess weight. It’s like trying to stop a leaking pipe, but refusing to fix the pipe. No, I just want the water to stop, it’s the water that’s the problem, I don’t need to address the pipe, just the water. And that is what is happening in today’s society, I just hope something wakes people up, so they can finally fix the pipe.

Visualize your Achievements 

Yesterday I was grabbing a jacket out of my closet, and I grabbed the wrong one. They both had similar colors and materials. I hadn’t worn the other one for years because it was pretty tight, and I don’t like the feeling of a tight jacket. But I was in a hurry, and I didn’t want to find the other one, so I was like, well heck why not. It was loose! I just stood there for a minute in disbelief. I knew I had lost weight, but I guess it feels so gradual to yourself, that I didn’t think it would make that big of a difference. Then I started thinking, what about some of the nice jackets I have that I haven’t been able to wear in forever, but I’ve always kept them just in case. There was one that was pretty expensive, and it’s rare for me to buy expensive jackets, so I couldn’t make myself get rid of it. It was crazy, it fit perfect. Like when you slide in to your best outfit, not too loose, not too tight, just right. So a couple lbs here, a few more, a few more, and just keeping going consistently in one direction definitely paid off. I have lost a bit of weight, but when you do it over time, it’s hard to judge it with your eyes.

Then there’s the psychological aspect. I mentally know, I am starting to be able to wear my nicest clothes. Meaning, all those times of saying no weren’t for nothing, and I’ve gotten better at self control. Self control aside, I’ve also learned a lot about the diet world in general and how things are stacked against you. Knowledge can change your life, which certainly did that for me, well applying what I learned into actions did.

Now here’s a fun experiment. Say you’ve lost a pound, or 2, or 3. Whatever the number, you can adapt it. I was holding a bag of raisins the other day and it was 1 pound. I also had a bag of frozen blueberries and that was 3 lbs. Now holding those, and realizing that that was how much just 1 pound of fat weighed, was really startling. It reminded me of 1’st grade where the guest speaker brought in a pound of fat to show us what it looked like. They showed us the health problems that came from it as well. It was really gross as a little kid, but one thing hasn’t changed. Your literally dropping weight off yourself, which is going to make daily functioning much easier.

Your body needs energy to run, and the more weight you move around, the more energy it needs. So maybe 5 lbs doesn’t seem like much. But go pick up a 5 lbs bag of frozen fruit, and see what that feels like carrying around. If you want to lose say, 20, 40, 80, etc, that can have huge impact on your life. A lot of people could handle losing at least 40 lbs. Which is equivalent to carrying a full box of paper around. It’s a huge relief for your body to drop that weight and move efficiently. Visualizing tends to help me when I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress. Just go physically pick up the weight you’ve lost to remind yourself. The important thing is to feel confident and be healthy, and to fit into your favorite clothes 🙂

Why, ‘Cookies or Health’ is the Wrong Question 

If your making a sacrifice to better yourself, focusing on what you can’t have is a recipe for disaster. I see the clips all the time that give you two options, something like this:

And I would think, well I know camera shots make you look bigger than you are, so she’s pretty darn skinny, which isn’t my ideal, but I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t all that motivational. So I thought about it and realized something. If someone is asking if I want cookies, or a thin body, the choices have vastly different circumstances. The reason dieting is so hard, is because we can have instant gratification with a cookie. How long is that slim body going to take to get? Weeks? Months? Years? Depends on the person, but it’s long term. Cookies? 3 seconds to open a bag, and I’ve got my reward. The guilt, sugar crash, and fat come afterwards. Where as for dieting, the misery comes first, and the reward comes later. But when I would see the ‘would you rather have a cookie or a great body’ type add, I knew what the point was, but I would still want a cookie. Which I realized is because I can have it now.

Which brings me to my next point. Don’t focus on what you can’t have. If I sit and think about the things I want but can’t have, it’s only a matter of time before my mind will go, screw this, and I’ll end up caving. Especially if you do any long term dieting or type of goal, you won’t make it if your always thinking about things you don’t have. I’m not one to just use ‘modern’ healthy motivations either. And by that I mean, if it motivates me, pretty much anything goes. I’ve read plenty of articles that say don’t use negative emotions as a motivator because it’s bad for you. No, what’s bad for you is being overweight, constantly eating toxins, and hating what you look like. Once I realized I could use anger as motivation things got exponentially easier. Most of the time I don’t need it, but when you start, and things get tough, it can be a lifesaver.

My anger fueled some of the most challenging parts of my diet, as it was the only thing stronger than my desire for food. And you don’t have to keep at it forever, maintaining weight is way easier than loosing weight (despite what is commonly said). Especially after what you know you went through to lose the weight in the first place. I was mad at myself for a while, and that got me through the initial cravings when I didn’t have much progress with my diet yet. That anger turned to appreciation. I’m now thankful that my old self decided to stick to the plan day in and day out. I couldn’t today get the results I want, unless my past self had already got the ball moving. So no it doesn’t turn you into a ball of negative emotions. Fitting into your old clothes has the exact opposite effect. So use anger or whatever to get through that initial stage. Once you get traction it’s easier to keep yourself on pace. 

Bottom line, focus on what you want, not what your missing. It’s okay to use anger as a motivator. It’s fine to be mad with the shape your in, or the unhealthy habbits you have created. It just means you believe in yourself and know you could do better, be better. Don’t let others derail you because they say it’s healthier to be overweight and feel good, then to actually have a healthy body with self control. Nothing feels better than having that healthy body. And don’t feel bad if you see a guilt trip add with a cookie or a slim figure. Cookies come with instant gratification, that’s why it makes you feel more guilty than anything. But there’s nothing wrong with that, just get the image out of your head, and focus on the rewards of accomplishing your goal. If all else fails, get mad at the cookie.

Are you confident about that?

What makes someone confident? There has been on ongoing debate on whether confidence is formed from nature or nurture. I remember the first person who told me it was something your either born with or without. I was astounded. Can you see confidence? I can just picture a baby doctor going, oh look, yeah this baby has a lot of confidence. No one is confident when they are born, everyone is just trying to survive. This is where the nurture aspect kicks in. Each baby is going to be going home to a different family, and this is what some believe generates your confidence. Some homes have healthy supportive upbringings, while others have dysfunctional, chaotic upbringings. It might be easy to associate our confidence levels to our family circumstances, however, this doesn’t account for siblings raised in the same household. Even twins can have different levels of confidence, which seems conflicting. 

Well I have two thoughts for this. First, just because someone acts confident doesn’t mean they are. Only you can tell if you are confident. It’s impossible to tell if someone actually feels confident, or they have just learned to appear confident. The extreme side of this is people who are overconfident, bragging, or boastful. They are simply trying to cover up their lack of confidence by tricking others. Second, is that the entire premise of the question is flawed. Is someone confident or not? The question ignores the fact that it’s not an either or question. Confidence is connected to situations, ideas, talents, abilities, and knowledge. If I took a basic test in Latin, I would have absolutely no confidence. If I took a basic test in Japanese, I would be firmly confident. Is this a result of genetics or nurture? Nope, it’s because I’ve spent almost no time studying Latin, and hours upon hours studying Japanese. I would feel confident playing a simple song on my violin, but not a complex piece. Along the same lines, I feel confident when I can wear the size clothes I want, and lose confidence when I can’t. Even morally speaking, I have confidence when I know I’ve done the right thing, even if I don’t get what I want. Those who get what they want, but continually do what they know is wrong, don’t have confidence.

This is one of the main reasons the whole, you should feel confident no matter your size, is wrong. If you want to be bigger, football players for example, then that is perfectly fine. But for the rest of us, being bigger than we want is a result of lack of control, overendulging, and not taking care of ourselves. It’s unhealthy, we know it, but didn’t have the time, energy, or whatnat to stay on top of this. as a result, we lose confidence in our appearance. It’s not even about looks, just the lack of discipline that makes you feel worse about yourself. To top it of you also become unhealthier which will negatively hit your emotions regardless. Nowadays people feel bad about feeling bad about their weight as well. Because we are told we are shallow if we want a slim figure. Bunch of rubish. I’d like to be able to run around and play with my grandkids, ain’t gonna happen if I spend my life eating whatever I want. You gain confidence with your body when you take care of it, treat it with respect, and take responsibility for your health. There is nothing wrong if you are upset you let yourself go, it just means you know you could be doing better. It means you still believe in yourself. Work on yourself, and you will start to build confidence.

Confidence is built by an individual, for specific areas. You could have confidence in computer programming, and no confidence in public speaking. Or no confidence in archery, but confidence in changing a tire. Confidence comes from knowing what your doing, knowing what your doing is right, and knowing your knowledge is correct. So if you want to build confidence in an area of your life, practice and work hard. That’s the only way. Learning skills, and gaining knowledge, makes you feel valuable. And doing the right thing, gives you confidence even when times get painfully hard. No one was confident when they started to walk, but we gave it our best anyways. Practice might not always make perfect, but it will give you confidence. When you start out, you might even feel worse, because it shows how far you have to go. Stick to it, one day at a time, and it will gradually build. For example, learning Japanese was arduous, but then when someone asked me 日本語を勉強しました? I could say はい, with absolute confidence. Once your skills start to manifest in the real world it’s the coolest feeling. So keep at it, the rewards are worth it.

200 calorie dinner and dessert

First, I was going to talk about one of my favorite healthy foods. Then I decided I’ll just share the full meal. Today my dessert and dinner came out to 200 calories. And since it’s homemade, you can customize it to fit your needs. So if your running low on dinner ideas, you can always try this recipe out. 

Now it does use Daikon Radish. At first I thought Daikon was the same as other radishes, which is why I was hesitant to try it. However, Daikon is an awesome addition to any cooked dish, because it soaks in the flavor of whatever is around it. Stirfry, soup, sauces, meat fillers, even chips, can be easy to create. So Daikon is one of the main ingredients. 

The other main ingredient is Shiratake noodles. These guys are great for low calorie dieters, because they are zero calories. If you don’t know how to cook them, however, you could find them less than appealing. The secret is similar to the Daikon, they need to soak in another flavor. I’ve tried different methods, but have a set pattern now. First, rinse them off for 15 seconds (they come in a packet with liquid so it doesn’t affect them). Then put them in a bowl with water, and microwave them for a minute. Following, rinse them off again, and then throw them in a skillet/frying pan. Add seasoning and sauces and let them cook into the food. It’s also good to let them fry, as they start off moist, and this helps them soak in the new flavor. I’m not sure if they have multiple brands, but the kind I use is called Miracle Noodle.

Alright, now that I’ve given an introduction to the main ingredients, I can get into the recipe.

1/2 cup Daikon radish

1 bag shiratake pasta 

For seasoning, Braggs liquid aminos

For seasoning Braggs all purpose seasoning

1/2 cup spaghetti sauce

And the grand total of calories comes to 45. 0 for Braggs aminos and seasoning. 10 for Daikon. 35 for spaghetti sauce. 0 for noodles. Pretty neat. And if you want to add cheese or something, your starting off at a 45 cal base, so your certainly free to do so. Watch out for the type of spaghetti sauce you use though. They can range from 30 to 100+ in calories for half a cup. It’s easy to make too. Chop up the Daikon, throw in the noodles, add seasoning and Braggs aminos for taste. Add in the Spaggeti sauce as well, and give it a good 20-30 minute simmering, for everything to soak up the flavor. Serve, and enjoy 🙂

(45 cal spaghetti dinner)

Alright, then onto dessert. I’ve talked about my chocolate mix before, but haven’t broken down a recipe. 

5 almonds – 35 cal

1 tbsp cocoa powder 20 cal

2 tsp honey 40 cal

2 tsp tahini 60 cal

Just combine it in a bowl, and it’s good to go. Total calories = 155. With spaghetti = 200. This recipe can be tailored as well, I used to mix in raisins and coconut as well. I used tahini, just cause it’s what I have right now, but any nut butter can substitute.

And there you have it. A healthy meal for 200 cal. It’s got some protien and fiber as well, from the nuts, daikon, cocoa, even the Braggs Aminos has a decent amount of protien. Finish off with some green tea for optimal health benefits, which is also 0 calories 🙂

Know Thyself

My last post was about being a little more selfish in terms of career goals and life planning. But how does that translate to a diet? Well there is a lot of incorrect information going around about food needs. Also about the quality of food in general, but it’s going to ultimately come down to you personally. 

First, do you know how much you need to eat? I had a paradigm shift when I started fasting. I consumed water for 5 days, and could still fully function. There are a lot of benefits to fasting, but it also made me reevaluate the 2,000 calories a day amount. Everyone’s different, and diets have to be tailored to fit the individual. Until it comes to eating less, then there is a set number applied to everyone. I actually think a lot of women should be consuming less than 2000 daily. If you add in things like coconut oil, full dairy fats, nuts, things like that, and have a fully active lifestyle, swimming, running, biking, boxing, then it’s possible to hit the 2000 without gaining weight. But how often is this possible. A full time job, or any number of other responsibilities, makes this lifestyle impossible. Society has changed. We don’t have to constantly physically move in order to work and survive. Most of us have to not physically move in order to pay our bills. We need less consumption than our ancestors, not more. 

(I’m not vegan btw, but I get this all the time, what is it with rabbit food and twigs?🐇)

I also have some great personal examples to use. Each side of my family lived completely different, and got completely different results. I can look at both sides of the family tree and see how diet has affected them. On one side, my ancestors ate a lot, each generation consuming more, which has led to a lot of sugar and processed food consumption. The women on the other side of the family tree, ate very little. They were often told they were eating like a bird. The first side has a lot of health issues, cancer, diabetes, obesesity. The second side, seems to live long active lives, without any major issues. They also stay petite, with curves, but without any hard exercise. Being the offspring of both these genes, I figured it was my choice which lineage I wanted to follow. Of course this was after years of experimental dieting, finding out about my family’s past, and researching health as a whole. The path to health nowadays, isn’t so simple.

My final decision was to ignore the standard diet rules, and just do what the slim and healthy side did. The standard line, if you starve you won’t lose weight, didn’t hold. I starved, and shocker, I lost weight. I can diet on 100-200 calories a day, and function just fine. Just to note, what I do eat is very healthy foods. I have an ideal weight, and I can experiment with how much food I can have daily to maintain that weight. I just know I can look at my ancestors as lifelong examples, and see how their decisions impacted their weight and health. Currently the longest living person eats 3 eggs a day, and that’s about it. Her family members said she doesn’t eat much else, which means her base caloric intake is 180 calories. If people cut thier calories, that would make a huge financial impact on the food industry. So I doubt, they are going to advertise a 500 calorie diet. And when I start shedding the pounds, I’m thinner, heathier, and happier than ever. Because I know myself, my history, and thus, the best way to live. 

So if you are maintaining 1200 calories, exercising, not losing weight, and posting discussions online wondering what your doing wrong (like too many I’ve seen), it’s quite possibly nothing your doing wrong. It’s just that 1200 is too many calories for women to lose weight, at least without a full day of constant motion. Now it’s possible a thyroid issue is involved. One aunt had a thyroid problem, and my cousin was adament that was the reason, no matter how little her mother ate, she could not lose weight. Well, when I stayed at their house a few days, and saw they ate out literally, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then ate a second dinner at home, I found it hard to believe her thyroid was the culprit. I had a big apetite as a kid, and was still going, my gosh can we get a break from food please? I’m pretty sure her thyroid was thinking the same. And who knows, even if I had a similar issue, which is why I have to eat less, I wouldn’t be okay with being overweight. Being overweight is extremely bad for your health, will cause complications, and cut your life short. Given the choice, I’ll have an egg with kimchi for breakfast, 70 cal, a bowl of spaghetti, made from spaghetti squash for dinner, 50 cal, and a protein shake for a snack, 80 cal. So on an extreme diet, I’m getting breakfast, lunch and dinner for 200 cal. I take vitamins and minerals through the day, and am getting protien through eggs and protien drinks (healthy kind, that also has nutrients). Sounds like my ancestors kind of diet. 

yummy spaghetti squash↗

It’s a diet to lose weight, not to live everyday, but I wish someone had told me years ago what I know now, so when I see those posts it makes me want to share. Ultimate goal, find what works and keeps you healthy!