Never say Never

I’m never going to overeat again. I’m never going to eat something I didn’t plan to eat again. I’m always going to stick to my diets and food plans.

This is something most people won’t say. Why? because we can instantly hear that nagging voice saying, well how do you know what will happen in the future? You’re going to fail again, you know you will, how many times have you failed before? and then you’ll just look like a liar.

How do you know? Well if you’ve ever been a food a holic, then those first statements are exactly what you need to be saying. Society (research institutes, a lot of big food companies, etc.) has definitely held us back in this area. Let me give you a different example:

An alcoholic: “I’m never drinking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Smoker: “I’m never smoking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Drug Addict: “I’m never doing drugs again”

Society: “Good for you”

Overeater/Overweight: “I’m never overeating again”

Society: “Now, wait just a minute, that’s an unrealistic goal to set for yourself, your just setting yourself up for failure, and once you do overeat, (because we all know you will) your just going to lose your confidence. No, you can’t say that, it’s too complicated to just say ‘never’. If people could do that we wouldn’t have all these diets. It’s impossible.

Can you see the blatent difference, and then what does society tell people when they do get off the bandwagon, say an alcoholic.

Alcoholic: I went two weeks and then I broke down and had a drink, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never drink again.

Society: Good for you, that’s the spirit, don’t let one set back ruin your hard work. You can do it!

Overeater/Overweight:  I went two weeks before I ate something not on my diet, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never overeat again.

Society: See I told you you would fail. You’re goal is too high, that’s just part of being human, you can’t say never. You just failed, why are you saying your going to stick to it now, clearly you can’t. Diets are just a set up for failure, why are you even trying? You can’t say you will Never get off a diet, see what happens?

And it just continues. I mean how crazy is that? In a society where fat is killing at almost the same rates as cigarettes, and you aren’t allowed to say, I’ll never binge again. Your not setting yourself up for failure, if you can’t say it, your already admitting defeat. You’re acknowledging to yourself that you are not in control of yourself. Sure some people may need more help through the process then others, but it’s still for the same goal. To be the weight you want, and have the health you want. This takes control, and knowing things like, I am in full control of my body and what I eat. Not sometimes, not most of the time, but everyday all day. If I mess up, then I need to figure out what happened and how to fix it in the future. You will always be you in the present, when you control the you in this moment, you don’t have to worry about any other.

There is a book called ‘Never Binge Again’ by Glenn Livingston. If your an emotional eater, think about food all the time, or don’t think you can stick to a diet, this is definitely a worthwhile read. I stumbled upon it online, when I was researching why people overeat. I’d call it a revolutionary way to think and address food addiction. The main thing I have fought is not feeling miserable when I’m on a diet. When your doing great, and then someone walks by with a thick slice of pizza and the aroma lingers in the room. It can be hard to function on a diet while your living with normal people in society.
Anyways, after reading the book, someone can be eating lasagna at work next to me, and I’m actually okay with it, normal, not miserable. Sometimes it puts me in a better mood, because I’m in such shock that I can be perfectly fine with it, when it would have been hell before. And maybe it won’t work as well for you, I’m usually a skeptic, but if it helps in some way, it would be worth it. I got the book for a free download on, I think, Amazon, just to add to my research. It’s not a diet either, just a way to address dieting, food, binging, and the like. If your like me and have (had) a love hate relationship with food, then it’s worth your time to read. I’m glad I did, but I’ll keep you posted with the results, I’ve been applying the methods for about a week, with a huge difference. I can confidently say, I Will Never Overeat Again For The Rest Of My Life πŸ™‚

Can you?

You vs. You

“Deciding whether to smoke or not is a behavior,” she said. β€œThe weight your body is is not a behavior.””

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What has our world come to? This was said by a Psychologist from California specializing in eating disorders and a member of the advisory board for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance.

Fat Acceptance? There is actually an Association to advance fat acceptance. Seems hard to believe. Fat seems to be doing just fine, I don’t think it needs any help. That’s like having an association to advance Black Plague Acceptance.

“According to the National Institutes of Health, obesity and overweight together are the second leading cause of preventable death in the United States, close behind tobacco use (3). An estimated 300,000 deaths per year are due to the obesity epidemic”


“The risk of mortality increased with increasing BMI at all ages and for all categories of death”

300,000 deaths is why they call it an epidemic. Getting close to a million deaths every 3 years. That’s just deaths. If a million die, how many are sick, suffering, and in pain, but still alive? What would the toll be for a million families and society, and that’s only in America. I see headlines of shooters or bombers, but imagine if they killed 300,000? What kind of outcry would there be? What kind of damage?

And yet, even with that insane number of PREVENTABLE deaths, there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. The Psychologist went on to say that it’s wrong to shame fat people because it is their body, the person themself that you are attacking. That’s like telling someone to love their cancer because it is a part of them, it is their personal identity. Insane, right? All I see is posters that say to fight cancer with everything you have, and find a cure. But love your fat self, which is the reason you have cancer? A quick google check will show that the risk for getting practically every form of cancer, increases with being overweight. We should be viewing excess fat as a toxic poison that kills. It’s as much a part of who you are and your identity as brain cancer. You don’t accept brain cancer, you don’t say this is the real me, and your a terrible person if you want me to be healthy and cancer free. Yet the toxic fat people say is a part of who they are, is physically killing them at extremely high numbers.

It should be a crime for a parent to have their child be obese. People don’t think twice about it being illegal for a parent to give a two year old a cigarette or alcohol. Yet obesity is killing at almost the same rates as smoking. Why is one okay to shun, yet the other, which is killing kids, is politically incorrect to shun? There are society’s that have historically ostracized being fat, like Japan. Even company employees would be weighed, and if you are over a certain weight then the company gets fined. But guess what, they haven’t had an obesity problem. They use fat shaming, a lot, and it works. But the trajedy is that even though they have a history of having some of the longest and healthiest lives, I can already here the fat acceptance brigades’ criticism. I’m sure there are already articles that say it doesn’t work, they are just being mean, and the like.

And yeah I’ve taken plenty of criticism myself. There are plenty of overweight victims, that think no one is allowed to have an opinion about their lifestyle, their toxic lifestyle that is killing themselves, their kids, and placing a huge burdon on society. It’s just sad that unless I explain that I was overweight and lost weight, they just call you judgemental, and ignore you. I have then gotten people who want to know specific numbers, because they get to be the judge on if you really weighed enough to have a say so, only if you used to be what they consider ‘fat’, can you say all this without them giving you this ‘your such a terrible person look’.

What it boils down to, is I want people to be healthy, when I see kids diagnosed with cancer, because they have been eating nothing but toxic junk since they were born, I can’t take it. I don’t accept that this is just how people are, and I should applaude they they accept themselves for it. I hate it. I hate people dying from preventable diseases. I hate people having fat dictate what they can and can’t do. Company softball game? sorry I can’t because my fat gets me wheezy, and I can’t really run. And I hate how it makes you feel. The logical response would be to want to lose weight, not convince yourself that being overweight is fine. That’s the reason I could lose weight, I hated being overweight. And I hate seeing people who are overweight, because I have something called empathy. I don’t want them going to an early grave, having partial functionality in their daily lives, getting a disease, hating how they feel, and passing all that on to their kids. Society shouldn’t accept this either. Fat Acceptance clearly isn’t working. Fat isn’t you, it’s killing you. And contrary to apparently what these physchologists would tell you, you’re the absolutely only person who decides what you weigh.

Maybe we can’t fix this overnight, but it would be nice to stop celebrating excess weight. It’s like trying to stop a leaking pipe, but refusing to fix the pipe. No, I just want the water to stop, it’s the water that’s the problem, I don’t need to address the pipe, just the water. And that is what is happening in today’s society, I just hope something wakes people up, so they can finally fix the pipe.

How to climb over a moutain

Have you ever had that moment, where you know what you want, and more or less how to get there, but the size of the task is daunting. I feel like that at the moment. After my trip, I started getting back into the flow of things and reevaluating where I want to go and what I want to do. Any way I look at it, there is a Lot of stuff I have to accomplish in order to hit my goals. Plus I’m not 100% sure it’s the right direction. I mean I could commit to a big project, and realize it didn’t get me what was advertised. Kind of like picking a major. Your going to have to commit a lot of time and energy, work hard etc. to get that degree, but at the same time a lot of people wonder if it’s going to put them on their desired carreer track, or if they should have focused on something else. 

That’s where my reserve is coming in right now, I can usually handle large tasks when I know what I’ll get in return. But this is going to require a lot of work, yet I don’t know if it will put me on the right path. Time is also a factor. You could start off with an Undeclared major, but your still on a time restraint to pick one. I also tend to over analyze things, so I end up with too many choices, and what ifs. Then I stall, and just feel more pressure. Well if it was easy, we’d all be rich and successful. The thing I’m trying to figure out now, is how to overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed.

When I started my first job out of college, I learned how to focus on one task at a time. My boss would give me tons of work that he wanted done yesterday, and I had to keep from panicking. That habbit has stayed with me. The difference now, is that I’m trying to plan ahead, so I can’t just focus on the task in front of me. I have to know the bigger picture as well.

However, when I think about the bigger picture, it makes me procrastinate today. Well I know it’s good to think about it, instead of ignoring the issue. My only answer is that I’m going to have to commit to myself. Even if I end up going the wrong direction, it’s easier to readjusted then if your not moving at all. If I view it as a challenge, it becomes more fun. If I see it as an investment in myself, even if I decide not to make a career out of it, I’ve gained knowledge and skills. One thing I’ve learned is that things can connect in the strangest ways. So typically the more experience you have the more it will help you in your current position, even if it’s not related. I just have to stop looking at it as something that will be bad if I don’t accomplish, but as something that will be amazing if I do accomplish. 

Stagnating is the worst thing to do, but feeling overwhelmed can get you stuck fast. Focus on the journey, the improvement and the scenery. The hardest journeys make the most inspirational stories. If I see the mountain as the obstacle, I might never get the motivation to go, but if I look at the journey itself, it starts to sound fun. Maybe that’s just me. Either way, it’s best to move, it’s always easier to stay commited once you’ve made some progress.

Follow Your Passion
How do you follow your passion? I’ve often heard the phrase ‘follow your passion’, but how exactly does one do that? It seems impractical to me. Besides if you want to get ahead in anything, your typically not following, but leading. Lead your passion, or make your passion, would make more sense. We sort of get to choose our passions. It typically takes time and work to become passionate in an area. Being passionate about something you haven’t invested yourself in, would be like being passionate about a person you just met. Sure there could be initial chemistry, but you have to build a relationship and get to know the person, before you can genuinely be passionate about them. 

I’ve come to understand passions like relationships. Initial chemistry can be important, but even so, until you spend time with a person, you can only dole out simple judgements. The more time you spend, the more you can tell if it’s a good fit. Some people just won’t be a good match, but there are a lot of people that would be beneficial for you to know. That’s what a passion can do. It can pique your interest, challenge you, make you better, change you, give you a different perspective, a different vision, a good time, difficult times, and a more fulfilling life. It’s not always fun or easy, but messy and changes with time. 

I feel a lot of passions are discovered once you get your first accomplishment in that area. So if you feel like you don’t have many passions, don’t just try something new, but commit a certain amount of time to something new. A first date can be informative, but sometimes misleading. Besides starting something new usually makes us feel awkward, unskilled, and even embarrased. It makes sense, but passions come after that initial step. Then all those awkward moments become worth it. Some passions just hit you, but I think most are created, just like relationships. Some are spontaneous, but most require some hard work and dedication. However, that’s what makes them valuable, strong, and enjoyable.

Tick Tock

This is one of those moments where correcting a bad habit is a double negative. I used to eat when I was bored. So I started filling in my time with other items, in order to avoid that pitfall. However, right now I’m waiting on some pretty big news, that will come in some time today. So I am trying to distract myself, which I used to be able to do with food. So now I just have to figure out what to do with myself until I get the news. Well I guess one good fall back is writing. I used to not have that, and it keeps my brain engaged and occupied. Getting my brain sharper was the reason I started blogging, but it also fights boredom during a bad moment. Of course I can also cruise through other interesting blogs, which helps build motivation to stick to my goals. It’s realy interesting to see how many different bloggers are out there. You can go through 1,000 blogs, and each one is unique. Even 1,000 blogs on the same topic are all different. Yet I can still read a post and completely relate to it and think, that’s exactly what I went through, I know right? 

Quite amazing for us to be so different, going through completely different situations, and yet still understand the emotions, struggles, and achievements in others. It shows how connected we actually are, since we can pull motivation from just hearing someone elses story. It shows how much we connect and relate with others. Maybe it amplifies it online because we typically aren’t looking at someone’s socioeconomic class, race, gender, hairstyle, accent, or anything else that we can’t help but use to ananlyze the people in our everyday lives. When people blog online, we are normally just reading their words directly, which cuts out a lot of mental filters. You can apply yourself more directly to their story, and see yourself in their shoes, because at the heart of it we are very similar. Take out societal archetypes, and just read pure writing, and it’s easy to connect. That or maybe bloggers are just awesome, which is why there are so many great blogs. 

I just got an idea, if you know of any great blogs, (including your own), post or comment below. I can find really great posts in the most random ways, so I’d be curious to see if you guys have any favorite blog recommendations. I love reading new information, everyone has a unique perspective. That will also help me keep my mind occupied, and happy

Location Bias

The past week was just one of those weeks. I had so many things going on, I’m just starting to recover. First off, I was travelling, so even my sense of time was completely thrown off. But one of my goals was to travel, so it was beneficial in a lot of ways. There is just something about actually physically going somewhere. Besides the exhaustion of the travelling process, there is a limit as to what you can learn at home. The modern age has especially caused us to be more susceptible to false information. It’s so easy to think you know what a place is like without actually going there. Google houses so much information on any physical location, that it’s easy to feel connected. But the internet is just one big wikipedia. Everything is based on biased perceptions.

Academically it could help, but it could also lead to misconceptions about areas. I’ve looked up places on google maps, and then actually physically stood there, and it can seem completely different. I hope we don’t start to believe that seeing a screen shot is the same as traveling to the location. It’s the same as seeing someone’s picture, and thinking you know the person. Especially for kids, they would feel like they have been to these areas, when all they are seeing is a compilation of pixels that represent a shallow image. I don’t think the teachers will stress to the students how different actually being there is. Experiences in an area, bring the place to life. It should be called virtual deception, not virtual reality. You’re deceiving yourself to think that what your seeing is reality.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to learn from others experiences and stories, but people see the world from their own filters. For example, I’ve travelled around and lived in multiple climates. I’ve been in harsh environments where the temperature is unstable and ranges in extremes of below zero, and high 90’s. I’ve also lived in areas where the environment is stable and stayes between 60-80 degrees year round. Yet the unbelievable part, is that I’ve met people who have never left these areas and they have described the weather the SAME. From both parts, I heard people say the weather there was great, good for outdoor activities, and a great place to live. The physical nature of the places couldn’t have been much more opposite, yet the people who had lived in the harsh environment their whole life, thought the weather was just fine. People who read reviews online could easily believe the weather was great, in fact that was one of the most common misconceptions concerning the area. I lived there years, but after leaving, I continually heard people saying “oh I would love to live there, I heard the weather was great for the outdoors”. And I would go, yeah if you enjoy riding a bike in below zero weather, clouds and wind moving in by noon every day of summer, and never having to use an umbrella, because the wind is so strong, an umbrella serves no purpose, if it’s raining, you’re going to get soaked regardless. The phrase people used was, if you don’t like the weather, wait 5 minutes. It was that unpredictable, which of course made it so you could never plan outdoor activities. Even when it was nice, you knew an hour later there could be a flash flood, or a blizzard. 

The disconnect came from the individuals who had always lived there. A lot of them had lived in even more rural mountainous areas, and so they thought the small city was really great. I mean, hey, at least your not stuck in your house for a week every blizzard, well not normally, it does happen every few years. However, they had extremely biased views on weather, since they had lived there their whole lives. And that was one of their selling points. I can’t even remember how many times I’ve heard people say, oh the weather there is great! Yet it was 9 months of harsh winters, and 3 months of windy summers where there is only 1 hour of sunshine, and the rest is cloudy and windy. By that point I had moved to an area with the 60-80 degree temperature range. And people who had lived there their whole lives, thought the weather in those areas were terrible! People really can get themselves in a mental box. But the worst part in modern times, is that they read through the internet and Think they know about other areas. At least earlier generations knew they didn’t know about an area unless they travelled there.

I went longer than I thought, so I’m going to break this into 2 posts, I’ll talk about location safety in my next post.

Are you carrying the people from your past?

I’ve recently been doing some spring cleaning, well better late than never. Seeing the things I’ve held onto was an interesting perspective on human psychology. I had so many things that served no functionable purpose, except they were attached to a memory, along with a lot of stuff that was somewhat broken but thought, well you never know, I’ll get it fixed, or I could need it some day. How much stuff do we stay attached to, that doesn’t actually help us? The amusing part was that I had thought I had already gotten rid of anything I didn’t need. Then I was thinking, really, you thought you needed this?

There was one box that I almost didn’t go through, because I knew I had gone through it before and so I needed everything in it. I figured what the heck, I can try again, and when I did, I realized how many memoroabilias I had been keeping. Things that would just be junk normally, scraps of paper, broken trinkets, brochures, etc., I had assigned meaning to. But the stuff I should have gotten rid of years ago, was stuff from damaging relationships, friends, bosses, coworkers, etc..

I would hold onto these things to remind myself of the past, but then I realized I have been carrying around these people with me. And jeez they’re heavy. I had this, screw this moment, and got rid off all of it. I want to keep looking forward, not be pulled back into those moments where I had doubt and regret and fear of failure. I can remember them well enough, without carrying them in a box. I was really just surprised with myself. I had enough nerve to end those jobs/relationships etc. but not to get rid of the items attached to them? So strange. Well that’s one load off my shoulders now. The funny thing was I was so certain throwing it away would be stressfull, but it felt really good when I actually did. It was like, that part of my life is over, so I’m going to treat it as such. I’m not bringing you with me, there was a reason it ended in the first place. It felt liberating getting rid off all that junk and clutter. And the best part is feeling like you have more space for the future, instead of being weighed down by the past. I can’t believe I couldn’t do it years ago, but I’m glad I did now. Maybe it just means you’ve grown emotionally, once you can let go of the past, well hopefully anyways, that or my dislike for clutter has just gotten stronger πŸ™‚