Never say Never

I’m never going to overeat again. I’m never going to eat something I didn’t plan to eat again. I’m always going to stick to my diets and food plans.

This is something most people won’t say. Why? because we can instantly hear that nagging voice saying, well how do you know what will happen in the future? You’re going to fail again, you know you will, how many times have you failed before? and then you’ll just look like a liar.

How do you know? Well if you’ve ever been a food a holic, then those first statements are exactly what you need to be saying. Society (research institutes, a lot of big food companies, etc.) has definitely held us back in this area. Let me give you a different example:

An alcoholic: “I’m never drinking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Smoker: “I’m never smoking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Drug Addict: “I’m never doing drugs again”

Society: “Good for you”

Overeater/Overweight: “I’m never overeating again”

Society: “Now, wait just a minute, that’s an unrealistic goal to set for yourself, your just setting yourself up for failure, and once you do overeat, (because we all know you will) your just going to lose your confidence. No, you can’t say that, it’s too complicated to just say ‘never’. If people could do that we wouldn’t have all these diets. It’s impossible.

Can you see the blatent difference, and then what does society tell people when they do get off the bandwagon, say an alcoholic.

Alcoholic: I went two weeks and then I broke down and had a drink, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never drink again.

Society: Good for you, that’s the spirit, don’t let one set back ruin your hard work. You can do it!

Overeater/Overweight:  I went two weeks before I ate something not on my diet, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never overeat again.

Society: See I told you you would fail. You’re goal is too high, that’s just part of being human, you can’t say never. You just failed, why are you saying your going to stick to it now, clearly you can’t. Diets are just a set up for failure, why are you even trying? You can’t say you will Never get off a diet, see what happens?

And it just continues. I mean how crazy is that? In a society where fat is killing at almost the same rates as cigarettes, and you aren’t allowed to say, I’ll never binge again. Your not setting yourself up for failure, if you can’t say it, your already admitting defeat. You’re acknowledging to yourself that you are not in control of yourself. Sure some people may need more help through the process then others, but it’s still for the same goal. To be the weight you want, and have the health you want. This takes control, and knowing things like, I am in full control of my body and what I eat. Not sometimes, not most of the time, but everyday all day. If I mess up, then I need to figure out what happened and how to fix it in the future. You will always be you in the present, when you control the you in this moment, you don’t have to worry about any other.

There is a book called ‘Never Binge Again’ by Glenn Livingston. If your an emotional eater, think about food all the time, or don’t think you can stick to a diet, this is definitely a worthwhile read. I stumbled upon it online, when I was researching why people overeat. I’d call it a revolutionary way to think and address food addiction. The main thing I have fought is not feeling miserable when I’m on a diet. When your doing great, and then someone walks by with a thick slice of pizza and the aroma lingers in the room. It can be hard to function on a diet while your living with normal people in society.
Anyways, after reading the book, someone can be eating lasagna at work next to me, and I’m actually okay with it, normal, not miserable. Sometimes it puts me in a better mood, because I’m in such shock that I can be perfectly fine with it, when it would have been hell before. And maybe it won’t work as well for you, I’m usually a skeptic, but if it helps in some way, it would be worth it. I got the book for a free download on, I think, Amazon, just to add to my research. It’s not a diet either, just a way to address dieting, food, binging, and the like. If your like me and have (had) a love hate relationship with food, then it’s worth your time to read. I’m glad I did, but I’ll keep you posted with the results, I’ve been applying the methods for about a week, with a huge difference. I can confidently say, I Will Never Overeat Again For The Rest Of My Life 🙂

Can you?


You vs. You

“Deciding whether to smoke or not is a behavior,” she said. “The weight your body is is not a behavior.””

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What has our world come to? This was said by a Psychologist from California specializing in eating disorders and a member of the advisory board for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance.

Fat Acceptance? There is actually an Association to advance fat acceptance. Seems hard to believe. Fat seems to be doing just fine, I don’t think it needs any help. That’s like having an association to advance Black Plague Acceptance.

“According to the National Institutes of Health, obesity and overweight together are the second leading cause of preventable death in the United States, close behind tobacco use (3). An estimated 300,000 deaths per year are due to the obesity epidemic”


“The risk of mortality increased with increasing BMI at all ages and for all categories of death”

300,000 deaths is why they call it an epidemic. Getting close to a million deaths every 3 years. That’s just deaths. If a million die, how many are sick, suffering, and in pain, but still alive? What would the toll be for a million families and society, and that’s only in America. I see headlines of shooters or bombers, but imagine if they killed 300,000? What kind of outcry would there be? What kind of damage?

And yet, even with that insane number of PREVENTABLE deaths, there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. The Psychologist went on to say that it’s wrong to shame fat people because it is their body, the person themself that you are attacking. That’s like telling someone to love their cancer because it is a part of them, it is their personal identity. Insane, right? All I see is posters that say to fight cancer with everything you have, and find a cure. But love your fat self, which is the reason you have cancer? A quick google check will show that the risk for getting practically every form of cancer, increases with being overweight. We should be viewing excess fat as a toxic poison that kills. It’s as much a part of who you are and your identity as brain cancer. You don’t accept brain cancer, you don’t say this is the real me, and your a terrible person if you want me to be healthy and cancer free. Yet the toxic fat people say is a part of who they are, is physically killing them at extremely high numbers.

It should be a crime for a parent to have their child be obese. People don’t think twice about it being illegal for a parent to give a two year old a cigarette or alcohol. Yet obesity is killing at almost the same rates as smoking. Why is one okay to shun, yet the other, which is killing kids, is politically incorrect to shun? There are society’s that have historically ostracized being fat, like Japan. Even company employees would be weighed, and if you are over a certain weight then the company gets fined. But guess what, they haven’t had an obesity problem. They use fat shaming, a lot, and it works. But the trajedy is that even though they have a history of having some of the longest and healthiest lives, I can already here the fat acceptance brigades’ criticism. I’m sure there are already articles that say it doesn’t work, they are just being mean, and the like.

And yeah I’ve taken plenty of criticism myself. There are plenty of overweight victims, that think no one is allowed to have an opinion about their lifestyle, their toxic lifestyle that is killing themselves, their kids, and placing a huge burdon on society. It’s just sad that unless I explain that I was overweight and lost weight, they just call you judgemental, and ignore you. I have then gotten people who want to know specific numbers, because they get to be the judge on if you really weighed enough to have a say so, only if you used to be what they consider ‘fat’, can you say all this without them giving you this ‘your such a terrible person look’.

What it boils down to, is I want people to be healthy, when I see kids diagnosed with cancer, because they have been eating nothing but toxic junk since they were born, I can’t take it. I don’t accept that this is just how people are, and I should applaude they they accept themselves for it. I hate it. I hate people dying from preventable diseases. I hate people having fat dictate what they can and can’t do. Company softball game? sorry I can’t because my fat gets me wheezy, and I can’t really run. And I hate how it makes you feel. The logical response would be to want to lose weight, not convince yourself that being overweight is fine. That’s the reason I could lose weight, I hated being overweight. And I hate seeing people who are overweight, because I have something called empathy. I don’t want them going to an early grave, having partial functionality in their daily lives, getting a disease, hating how they feel, and passing all that on to their kids. Society shouldn’t accept this either. Fat Acceptance clearly isn’t working. Fat isn’t you, it’s killing you. And contrary to apparently what these physchologists would tell you, you’re the absolutely only person who decides what you weigh.

Maybe we can’t fix this overnight, but it would be nice to stop celebrating excess weight. It’s like trying to stop a leaking pipe, but refusing to fix the pipe. No, I just want the water to stop, it’s the water that’s the problem, I don’t need to address the pipe, just the water. And that is what is happening in today’s society, I just hope something wakes people up, so they can finally fix the pipe.

Location Bias

The past week was just one of those weeks. I had so many things going on, I’m just starting to recover. First off, I was travelling, so even my sense of time was completely thrown off. But one of my goals was to travel, so it was beneficial in a lot of ways. There is just something about actually physically going somewhere. Besides the exhaustion of the travelling process, there is a limit as to what you can learn at home. The modern age has especially caused us to be more susceptible to false information. It’s so easy to think you know what a place is like without actually going there. Google houses so much information on any physical location, that it’s easy to feel connected. But the internet is just one big wikipedia. Everything is based on biased perceptions.

Academically it could help, but it could also lead to misconceptions about areas. I’ve looked up places on google maps, and then actually physically stood there, and it can seem completely different. I hope we don’t start to believe that seeing a screen shot is the same as traveling to the location. It’s the same as seeing someone’s picture, and thinking you know the person. Especially for kids, they would feel like they have been to these areas, when all they are seeing is a compilation of pixels that represent a shallow image. I don’t think the teachers will stress to the students how different actually being there is. Experiences in an area, bring the place to life. It should be called virtual deception, not virtual reality. You’re deceiving yourself to think that what your seeing is reality.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to learn from others experiences and stories, but people see the world from their own filters. For example, I’ve travelled around and lived in multiple climates. I’ve been in harsh environments where the temperature is unstable and ranges in extremes of below zero, and high 90’s. I’ve also lived in areas where the environment is stable and stayes between 60-80 degrees year round. Yet the unbelievable part, is that I’ve met people who have never left these areas and they have described the weather the SAME. From both parts, I heard people say the weather there was great, good for outdoor activities, and a great place to live. The physical nature of the places couldn’t have been much more opposite, yet the people who had lived in the harsh environment their whole life, thought the weather was just fine. People who read reviews online could easily believe the weather was great, in fact that was one of the most common misconceptions concerning the area. I lived there years, but after leaving, I continually heard people saying “oh I would love to live there, I heard the weather was great for the outdoors”. And I would go, yeah if you enjoy riding a bike in below zero weather, clouds and wind moving in by noon every day of summer, and never having to use an umbrella, because the wind is so strong, an umbrella serves no purpose, if it’s raining, you’re going to get soaked regardless. The phrase people used was, if you don’t like the weather, wait 5 minutes. It was that unpredictable, which of course made it so you could never plan outdoor activities. Even when it was nice, you knew an hour later there could be a flash flood, or a blizzard. 

The disconnect came from the individuals who had always lived there. A lot of them had lived in even more rural mountainous areas, and so they thought the small city was really great. I mean, hey, at least your not stuck in your house for a week every blizzard, well not normally, it does happen every few years. However, they had extremely biased views on weather, since they had lived there their whole lives. And that was one of their selling points. I can’t even remember how many times I’ve heard people say, oh the weather there is great! Yet it was 9 months of harsh winters, and 3 months of windy summers where there is only 1 hour of sunshine, and the rest is cloudy and windy. By that point I had moved to an area with the 60-80 degree temperature range. And people who had lived there their whole lives, thought the weather in those areas were terrible! People really can get themselves in a mental box. But the worst part in modern times, is that they read through the internet and Think they know about other areas. At least earlier generations knew they didn’t know about an area unless they travelled there.

I went longer than I thought, so I’m going to break this into 2 posts, I’ll talk about location safety in my next post.

Are you carrying the people from your past?

I’ve recently been doing some spring cleaning, well better late than never. Seeing the things I’ve held onto was an interesting perspective on human psychology. I had so many things that served no functionable purpose, except they were attached to a memory, along with a lot of stuff that was somewhat broken but thought, well you never know, I’ll get it fixed, or I could need it some day. How much stuff do we stay attached to, that doesn’t actually help us? The amusing part was that I had thought I had already gotten rid of anything I didn’t need. Then I was thinking, really, you thought you needed this?

There was one box that I almost didn’t go through, because I knew I had gone through it before and so I needed everything in it. I figured what the heck, I can try again, and when I did, I realized how many memoroabilias I had been keeping. Things that would just be junk normally, scraps of paper, broken trinkets, brochures, etc., I had assigned meaning to. But the stuff I should have gotten rid of years ago, was stuff from damaging relationships, friends, bosses, coworkers, etc..

I would hold onto these things to remind myself of the past, but then I realized I have been carrying around these people with me. And jeez they’re heavy. I had this, screw this moment, and got rid off all of it. I want to keep looking forward, not be pulled back into those moments where I had doubt and regret and fear of failure. I can remember them well enough, without carrying them in a box. I was really just surprised with myself. I had enough nerve to end those jobs/relationships etc. but not to get rid of the items attached to them? So strange. Well that’s one load off my shoulders now. The funny thing was I was so certain throwing it away would be stressfull, but it felt really good when I actually did. It was like, that part of my life is over, so I’m going to treat it as such. I’m not bringing you with me, there was a reason it ended in the first place. It felt liberating getting rid off all that junk and clutter. And the best part is feeling like you have more space for the future, instead of being weighed down by the past. I can’t believe I couldn’t do it years ago, but I’m glad I did now. Maybe it just means you’ve grown emotionally, once you can let go of the past, well hopefully anyways, that or my dislike for clutter has just gotten stronger 🙂

Visualize your Achievements 

Yesterday I was grabbing a jacket out of my closet, and I grabbed the wrong one. They both had similar colors and materials. I hadn’t worn the other one for years because it was pretty tight, and I don’t like the feeling of a tight jacket. But I was in a hurry, and I didn’t want to find the other one, so I was like, well heck why not. It was loose! I just stood there for a minute in disbelief. I knew I had lost weight, but I guess it feels so gradual to yourself, that I didn’t think it would make that big of a difference. Then I started thinking, what about some of the nice jackets I have that I haven’t been able to wear in forever, but I’ve always kept them just in case. There was one that was pretty expensive, and it’s rare for me to buy expensive jackets, so I couldn’t make myself get rid of it. It was crazy, it fit perfect. Like when you slide in to your best outfit, not too loose, not too tight, just right. So a couple lbs here, a few more, a few more, and just keeping going consistently in one direction definitely paid off. I have lost a bit of weight, but when you do it over time, it’s hard to judge it with your eyes.

Then there’s the psychological aspect. I mentally know, I am starting to be able to wear my nicest clothes. Meaning, all those times of saying no weren’t for nothing, and I’ve gotten better at self control. Self control aside, I’ve also learned a lot about the diet world in general and how things are stacked against you. Knowledge can change your life, which certainly did that for me, well applying what I learned into actions did.

Now here’s a fun experiment. Say you’ve lost a pound, or 2, or 3. Whatever the number, you can adapt it. I was holding a bag of raisins the other day and it was 1 pound. I also had a bag of frozen blueberries and that was 3 lbs. Now holding those, and realizing that that was how much just 1 pound of fat weighed, was really startling. It reminded me of 1’st grade where the guest speaker brought in a pound of fat to show us what it looked like. They showed us the health problems that came from it as well. It was really gross as a little kid, but one thing hasn’t changed. Your literally dropping weight off yourself, which is going to make daily functioning much easier.

Your body needs energy to run, and the more weight you move around, the more energy it needs. So maybe 5 lbs doesn’t seem like much. But go pick up a 5 lbs bag of frozen fruit, and see what that feels like carrying around. If you want to lose say, 20, 40, 80, etc, that can have huge impact on your life. A lot of people could handle losing at least 40 lbs. Which is equivalent to carrying a full box of paper around. It’s a huge relief for your body to drop that weight and move efficiently. Visualizing tends to help me when I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress. Just go physically pick up the weight you’ve lost to remind yourself. The important thing is to feel confident and be healthy, and to fit into your favorite clothes 🙂

Angel’s Food

Our bodies really are amazing. Sometimes they surprise you when you least expect it. Take my sleeping pattern I set up. I started setting my alarm for 7 hours of sleep every night. I was planning to gradually change it to 6, but since I’m on a restricted diet right now I figured 7 would be better for resting. Last night I got to bed a bit earlier than before, and I was like, well 7 hours from now is going to be super early, so I’ll just keep it at the typical wake up time which would be 7 hours and 40 minutes from now. I just thought it would be too early if I set it for the usual 7. And low and behold, exactly 7 hours later, my body woke itself up. And I wasn’t even that tired, my brain already started functioning, and I didn’t feel like going back to sleep. I’m still in shock, I can’t believe my body could regulate itself so well, that I could wake up so ridiculously early, and not even be tired enough to want to stay in bed. It feels like it’s going, ‘okay, so what are we going to do today?’. Unbelievable. Now I know the secret to these people I always thought were superhuman early risers with wills of steal. Just set a pattern, and connotate waking up to something positive. Your body will handle the rest. 

The wierdest thing is you don’t feel tired, I just can’t get over that. Which is really cool, since I never thought I would be an early riser, and it would be easy to do! The first day or two was the only major challenge. It gives you so much extra time, and instead of attaching waking up to work or school, it gets attached to your personal time that you can use however you’d like.

One other cool thing I learned yesterday was about the benefits of watermelon. I’ve been on water fasts before, but did you know watermelon is 92% water? Plus there are a lot of vitamins and minerals in it to help with dieting and detoxing. Of the top of my head I remember that it’s good for your muscles, it’s got fiber, protein, prevents cancer, and even a nutrient that’s good for your kidneys. A whole mini watermelon was around 200-300 calories, so you could eat a whole one a day, and stick to a calorie restricted diet. A lot of people use them for watermelon diets, or to break a fast. All the water is good to help flush out toxins that got stirred up while you were dieting/fasting. It surprised me that they were first discovered in Egypt. When I picture Egypt, watermelon definitely wasn’t the first thing that came to mind. They were so esteemed, that Pharaoh’s/Nobles were even buried with them.

Now their is a debate about the whole organic/not organic thing. Supposedly they are fine to have conventionally grown, because their tough rind keeps out the chemicals. (The rind is also edible by the way, I’ve never tried eating it though) However, since the fruit is practically all water, I figure it can easily be affected by it’s surroundings. Even the soil it grows in, could quickly change the substance of the fruit. Man, I would love to be able to get one from 100 years ago, before most of the soil was saturated with round up. Anyways, I still think Organic is better, but that’s not scientifically speaking. As far as I’ve learned, I think Avacados are the only fruit that’s not unhealthy conventionally grown, but I typically still buy organic, because I want to support the organic farmers. Though that would be a whole seperate discussion all in itself. Either way, that delicious childhood snack is great to keep you healthy and balanced as an adult. So do your body a favor and slice up some watermelon this summer 🍉🍉🍉

Why, ‘Cookies or Health’ is the Wrong Question 

If your making a sacrifice to better yourself, focusing on what you can’t have is a recipe for disaster. I see the clips all the time that give you two options, something like this:

And I would think, well I know camera shots make you look bigger than you are, so she’s pretty darn skinny, which isn’t my ideal, but I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t all that motivational. So I thought about it and realized something. If someone is asking if I want cookies, or a thin body, the choices have vastly different circumstances. The reason dieting is so hard, is because we can have instant gratification with a cookie. How long is that slim body going to take to get? Weeks? Months? Years? Depends on the person, but it’s long term. Cookies? 3 seconds to open a bag, and I’ve got my reward. The guilt, sugar crash, and fat come afterwards. Where as for dieting, the misery comes first, and the reward comes later. But when I would see the ‘would you rather have a cookie or a great body’ type add, I knew what the point was, but I would still want a cookie. Which I realized is because I can have it now.

Which brings me to my next point. Don’t focus on what you can’t have. If I sit and think about the things I want but can’t have, it’s only a matter of time before my mind will go, screw this, and I’ll end up caving. Especially if you do any long term dieting or type of goal, you won’t make it if your always thinking about things you don’t have. I’m not one to just use ‘modern’ healthy motivations either. And by that I mean, if it motivates me, pretty much anything goes. I’ve read plenty of articles that say don’t use negative emotions as a motivator because it’s bad for you. No, what’s bad for you is being overweight, constantly eating toxins, and hating what you look like. Once I realized I could use anger as motivation things got exponentially easier. Most of the time I don’t need it, but when you start, and things get tough, it can be a lifesaver.

My anger fueled some of the most challenging parts of my diet, as it was the only thing stronger than my desire for food. And you don’t have to keep at it forever, maintaining weight is way easier than loosing weight (despite what is commonly said). Especially after what you know you went through to lose the weight in the first place. I was mad at myself for a while, and that got me through the initial cravings when I didn’t have much progress with my diet yet. That anger turned to appreciation. I’m now thankful that my old self decided to stick to the plan day in and day out. I couldn’t today get the results I want, unless my past self had already got the ball moving. So no it doesn’t turn you into a ball of negative emotions. Fitting into your old clothes has the exact opposite effect. So use anger or whatever to get through that initial stage. Once you get traction it’s easier to keep yourself on pace. 

Bottom line, focus on what you want, not what your missing. It’s okay to use anger as a motivator. It’s fine to be mad with the shape your in, or the unhealthy habbits you have created. It just means you believe in yourself and know you could do better, be better. Don’t let others derail you because they say it’s healthier to be overweight and feel good, then to actually have a healthy body with self control. Nothing feels better than having that healthy body. And don’t feel bad if you see a guilt trip add with a cookie or a slim figure. Cookies come with instant gratification, that’s why it makes you feel more guilty than anything. But there’s nothing wrong with that, just get the image out of your head, and focus on the rewards of accomplishing your goal. If all else fails, get mad at the cookie.