Never say Never

I’m never going to overeat again. I’m never going to eat something I didn’t plan to eat again. I’m always going to stick to my diets and food plans.

This is something most people won’t say. Why? because we can instantly hear that nagging voice saying, well how do you know what will happen in the future? You’re going to fail again, you know you will, how many times have you failed before? and then you’ll just look like a liar.

How do you know? Well if you’ve ever been a food a holic, then those first statements are exactly what you need to be saying. Society (research institutes, a lot of big food companies, etc.) has definitely held us back in this area. Let me give you a different example:

An alcoholic: “I’m never drinking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Smoker: “I’m never smoking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Drug Addict: “I’m never doing drugs again”

Society: “Good for you”

Overeater/Overweight: “I’m never overeating again”

Society: “Now, wait just a minute, that’s an unrealistic goal to set for yourself, your just setting yourself up for failure, and once you do overeat, (because we all know you will) your just going to lose your confidence. No, you can’t say that, it’s too complicated to just say ‘never’. If people could do that we wouldn’t have all these diets. It’s impossible.

Can you see the blatent difference, and then what does society tell people when they do get off the bandwagon, say an alcoholic.

Alcoholic: I went two weeks and then I broke down and had a drink, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never drink again.

Society: Good for you, that’s the spirit, don’t let one set back ruin your hard work. You can do it!

Overeater/Overweight:  I went two weeks before I ate something not on my diet, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never overeat again.

Society: See I told you you would fail. You’re goal is too high, that’s just part of being human, you can’t say never. You just failed, why are you saying your going to stick to it now, clearly you can’t. Diets are just a set up for failure, why are you even trying? You can’t say you will Never get off a diet, see what happens?

And it just continues. I mean how crazy is that? In a society where fat is killing at almost the same rates as cigarettes, and you aren’t allowed to say, I’ll never binge again. Your not setting yourself up for failure, if you can’t say it, your already admitting defeat. You’re acknowledging to yourself that you are not in control of yourself. Sure some people may need more help through the process then others, but it’s still for the same goal. To be the weight you want, and have the health you want. This takes control, and knowing things like, I am in full control of my body and what I eat. Not sometimes, not most of the time, but everyday all day. If I mess up, then I need to figure out what happened and how to fix it in the future. You will always be you in the present, when you control the you in this moment, you don’t have to worry about any other.

There is a book called ‘Never Binge Again’ by Glenn Livingston. If your an emotional eater, think about food all the time, or don’t think you can stick to a diet, this is definitely a worthwhile read. I stumbled upon it online, when I was researching why people overeat. I’d call it a revolutionary way to think and address food addiction. The main thing I have fought is not feeling miserable when I’m on a diet. When your doing great, and then someone walks by with a thick slice of pizza and the aroma lingers in the room. It can be hard to function on a diet while your living with normal people in society.
Anyways, after reading the book, someone can be eating lasagna at work next to me, and I’m actually okay with it, normal, not miserable. Sometimes it puts me in a better mood, because I’m in such shock that I can be perfectly fine with it, when it would have been hell before. And maybe it won’t work as well for you, I’m usually a skeptic, but if it helps in some way, it would be worth it. I got the book for a free download on, I think, Amazon, just to add to my research. It’s not a diet either, just a way to address dieting, food, binging, and the like. If your like me and have (had) a love hate relationship with food, then it’s worth your time to read. I’m glad I did, but I’ll keep you posted with the results, I’ve been applying the methods for about a week, with a huge difference. I can confidently say, I Will Never Overeat Again For The Rest Of My Life 🙂

Can you?


You vs. You

“Deciding whether to smoke or not is a behavior,” she said. “The weight your body is is not a behavior.””

(image –

What has our world come to? This was said by a Psychologist from California specializing in eating disorders and a member of the advisory board for the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance.

Fat Acceptance? There is actually an Association to advance fat acceptance. Seems hard to believe. Fat seems to be doing just fine, I don’t think it needs any help. That’s like having an association to advance Black Plague Acceptance.

“According to the National Institutes of Health, obesity and overweight together are the second leading cause of preventable death in the United States, close behind tobacco use (3). An estimated 300,000 deaths per year are due to the obesity epidemic”


“The risk of mortality increased with increasing BMI at all ages and for all categories of death”

300,000 deaths is why they call it an epidemic. Getting close to a million deaths every 3 years. That’s just deaths. If a million die, how many are sick, suffering, and in pain, but still alive? What would the toll be for a million families and society, and that’s only in America. I see headlines of shooters or bombers, but imagine if they killed 300,000? What kind of outcry would there be? What kind of damage?

And yet, even with that insane number of PREVENTABLE deaths, there is a National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. The Psychologist went on to say that it’s wrong to shame fat people because it is their body, the person themself that you are attacking. That’s like telling someone to love their cancer because it is a part of them, it is their personal identity. Insane, right? All I see is posters that say to fight cancer with everything you have, and find a cure. But love your fat self, which is the reason you have cancer? A quick google check will show that the risk for getting practically every form of cancer, increases with being overweight. We should be viewing excess fat as a toxic poison that kills. It’s as much a part of who you are and your identity as brain cancer. You don’t accept brain cancer, you don’t say this is the real me, and your a terrible person if you want me to be healthy and cancer free. Yet the toxic fat people say is a part of who they are, is physically killing them at extremely high numbers.

It should be a crime for a parent to have their child be obese. People don’t think twice about it being illegal for a parent to give a two year old a cigarette or alcohol. Yet obesity is killing at almost the same rates as smoking. Why is one okay to shun, yet the other, which is killing kids, is politically incorrect to shun? There are society’s that have historically ostracized being fat, like Japan. Even company employees would be weighed, and if you are over a certain weight then the company gets fined. But guess what, they haven’t had an obesity problem. They use fat shaming, a lot, and it works. But the trajedy is that even though they have a history of having some of the longest and healthiest lives, I can already here the fat acceptance brigades’ criticism. I’m sure there are already articles that say it doesn’t work, they are just being mean, and the like.

And yeah I’ve taken plenty of criticism myself. There are plenty of overweight victims, that think no one is allowed to have an opinion about their lifestyle, their toxic lifestyle that is killing themselves, their kids, and placing a huge burdon on society. It’s just sad that unless I explain that I was overweight and lost weight, they just call you judgemental, and ignore you. I have then gotten people who want to know specific numbers, because they get to be the judge on if you really weighed enough to have a say so, only if you used to be what they consider ‘fat’, can you say all this without them giving you this ‘your such a terrible person look’.

What it boils down to, is I want people to be healthy, when I see kids diagnosed with cancer, because they have been eating nothing but toxic junk since they were born, I can’t take it. I don’t accept that this is just how people are, and I should applaude they they accept themselves for it. I hate it. I hate people dying from preventable diseases. I hate people having fat dictate what they can and can’t do. Company softball game? sorry I can’t because my fat gets me wheezy, and I can’t really run. And I hate how it makes you feel. The logical response would be to want to lose weight, not convince yourself that being overweight is fine. That’s the reason I could lose weight, I hated being overweight. And I hate seeing people who are overweight, because I have something called empathy. I don’t want them going to an early grave, having partial functionality in their daily lives, getting a disease, hating how they feel, and passing all that on to their kids. Society shouldn’t accept this either. Fat Acceptance clearly isn’t working. Fat isn’t you, it’s killing you. And contrary to apparently what these physchologists would tell you, you’re the absolutely only person who decides what you weigh.

Maybe we can’t fix this overnight, but it would be nice to stop celebrating excess weight. It’s like trying to stop a leaking pipe, but refusing to fix the pipe. No, I just want the water to stop, it’s the water that’s the problem, I don’t need to address the pipe, just the water. And that is what is happening in today’s society, I just hope something wakes people up, so they can finally fix the pipe.

Tick Tock

This is one of those moments where correcting a bad habit is a double negative. I used to eat when I was bored. So I started filling in my time with other items, in order to avoid that pitfall. However, right now I’m waiting on some pretty big news, that will come in some time today. So I am trying to distract myself, which I used to be able to do with food. So now I just have to figure out what to do with myself until I get the news. Well I guess one good fall back is writing. I used to not have that, and it keeps my brain engaged and occupied. Getting my brain sharper was the reason I started blogging, but it also fights boredom during a bad moment. Of course I can also cruise through other interesting blogs, which helps build motivation to stick to my goals. It’s realy interesting to see how many different bloggers are out there. You can go through 1,000 blogs, and each one is unique. Even 1,000 blogs on the same topic are all different. Yet I can still read a post and completely relate to it and think, that’s exactly what I went through, I know right? 

Quite amazing for us to be so different, going through completely different situations, and yet still understand the emotions, struggles, and achievements in others. It shows how connected we actually are, since we can pull motivation from just hearing someone elses story. It shows how much we connect and relate with others. Maybe it amplifies it online because we typically aren’t looking at someone’s socioeconomic class, race, gender, hairstyle, accent, or anything else that we can’t help but use to ananlyze the people in our everyday lives. When people blog online, we are normally just reading their words directly, which cuts out a lot of mental filters. You can apply yourself more directly to their story, and see yourself in their shoes, because at the heart of it we are very similar. Take out societal archetypes, and just read pure writing, and it’s easy to connect. That or maybe bloggers are just awesome, which is why there are so many great blogs. 

I just got an idea, if you know of any great blogs, (including your own), post or comment below. I can find really great posts in the most random ways, so I’d be curious to see if you guys have any favorite blog recommendations. I love reading new information, everyone has a unique perspective. That will also help me keep my mind occupied, and happy

Visualize your Achievements 

Yesterday I was grabbing a jacket out of my closet, and I grabbed the wrong one. They both had similar colors and materials. I hadn’t worn the other one for years because it was pretty tight, and I don’t like the feeling of a tight jacket. But I was in a hurry, and I didn’t want to find the other one, so I was like, well heck why not. It was loose! I just stood there for a minute in disbelief. I knew I had lost weight, but I guess it feels so gradual to yourself, that I didn’t think it would make that big of a difference. Then I started thinking, what about some of the nice jackets I have that I haven’t been able to wear in forever, but I’ve always kept them just in case. There was one that was pretty expensive, and it’s rare for me to buy expensive jackets, so I couldn’t make myself get rid of it. It was crazy, it fit perfect. Like when you slide in to your best outfit, not too loose, not too tight, just right. So a couple lbs here, a few more, a few more, and just keeping going consistently in one direction definitely paid off. I have lost a bit of weight, but when you do it over time, it’s hard to judge it with your eyes.

Then there’s the psychological aspect. I mentally know, I am starting to be able to wear my nicest clothes. Meaning, all those times of saying no weren’t for nothing, and I’ve gotten better at self control. Self control aside, I’ve also learned a lot about the diet world in general and how things are stacked against you. Knowledge can change your life, which certainly did that for me, well applying what I learned into actions did.

Now here’s a fun experiment. Say you’ve lost a pound, or 2, or 3. Whatever the number, you can adapt it. I was holding a bag of raisins the other day and it was 1 pound. I also had a bag of frozen blueberries and that was 3 lbs. Now holding those, and realizing that that was how much just 1 pound of fat weighed, was really startling. It reminded me of 1’st grade where the guest speaker brought in a pound of fat to show us what it looked like. They showed us the health problems that came from it as well. It was really gross as a little kid, but one thing hasn’t changed. Your literally dropping weight off yourself, which is going to make daily functioning much easier.

Your body needs energy to run, and the more weight you move around, the more energy it needs. So maybe 5 lbs doesn’t seem like much. But go pick up a 5 lbs bag of frozen fruit, and see what that feels like carrying around. If you want to lose say, 20, 40, 80, etc, that can have huge impact on your life. A lot of people could handle losing at least 40 lbs. Which is equivalent to carrying a full box of paper around. It’s a huge relief for your body to drop that weight and move efficiently. Visualizing tends to help me when I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress. Just go physically pick up the weight you’ve lost to remind yourself. The important thing is to feel confident and be healthy, and to fit into your favorite clothes 🙂

Why, ‘Cookies or Health’ is the Wrong Question 

If your making a sacrifice to better yourself, focusing on what you can’t have is a recipe for disaster. I see the clips all the time that give you two options, something like this:

And I would think, well I know camera shots make you look bigger than you are, so she’s pretty darn skinny, which isn’t my ideal, but I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t all that motivational. So I thought about it and realized something. If someone is asking if I want cookies, or a thin body, the choices have vastly different circumstances. The reason dieting is so hard, is because we can have instant gratification with a cookie. How long is that slim body going to take to get? Weeks? Months? Years? Depends on the person, but it’s long term. Cookies? 3 seconds to open a bag, and I’ve got my reward. The guilt, sugar crash, and fat come afterwards. Where as for dieting, the misery comes first, and the reward comes later. But when I would see the ‘would you rather have a cookie or a great body’ type add, I knew what the point was, but I would still want a cookie. Which I realized is because I can have it now.

Which brings me to my next point. Don’t focus on what you can’t have. If I sit and think about the things I want but can’t have, it’s only a matter of time before my mind will go, screw this, and I’ll end up caving. Especially if you do any long term dieting or type of goal, you won’t make it if your always thinking about things you don’t have. I’m not one to just use ‘modern’ healthy motivations either. And by that I mean, if it motivates me, pretty much anything goes. I’ve read plenty of articles that say don’t use negative emotions as a motivator because it’s bad for you. No, what’s bad for you is being overweight, constantly eating toxins, and hating what you look like. Once I realized I could use anger as motivation things got exponentially easier. Most of the time I don’t need it, but when you start, and things get tough, it can be a lifesaver.

My anger fueled some of the most challenging parts of my diet, as it was the only thing stronger than my desire for food. And you don’t have to keep at it forever, maintaining weight is way easier than loosing weight (despite what is commonly said). Especially after what you know you went through to lose the weight in the first place. I was mad at myself for a while, and that got me through the initial cravings when I didn’t have much progress with my diet yet. That anger turned to appreciation. I’m now thankful that my old self decided to stick to the plan day in and day out. I couldn’t today get the results I want, unless my past self had already got the ball moving. So no it doesn’t turn you into a ball of negative emotions. Fitting into your old clothes has the exact opposite effect. So use anger or whatever to get through that initial stage. Once you get traction it’s easier to keep yourself on pace. 

Bottom line, focus on what you want, not what your missing. It’s okay to use anger as a motivator. It’s fine to be mad with the shape your in, or the unhealthy habbits you have created. It just means you believe in yourself and know you could do better, be better. Don’t let others derail you because they say it’s healthier to be overweight and feel good, then to actually have a healthy body with self control. Nothing feels better than having that healthy body. And don’t feel bad if you see a guilt trip add with a cookie or a slim figure. Cookies come with instant gratification, that’s why it makes you feel more guilty than anything. But there’s nothing wrong with that, just get the image out of your head, and focus on the rewards of accomplishing your goal. If all else fails, get mad at the cookie.

The Myth of Starvation Mode

Since my first diet years ago, I heard about the dreaded ‘Starvation Mode’. It was always this looming threat that if I ate too little, it would all be for nought. The typical explanation is that your body will try to hold onto any excess fat, because it believes you are starving, and you will stop losing weight. This belief has caused quite a few diet headaches while trying to lose weight, but not eat to little. And if I did calorie restrict I felt like I was destroying my metabolism. I wish I knew then, but I’m glad I know now, that it’s just not true. The less you eat, the more weight you lose, period. The actual starvation mode, is something that kicks in once you get down to about 5% body fat. I’m pretty sure none of us will get to that point, and what the heck would you be dieting for anyways? So for all normal persons, it never kicks in. A lot of times this is cited from an experiment conducted in Minnesota, where the men on the diet stopped losing weight after extended periods of low calorie intake. However, the absolute absurdity of it, is that they looked like this: (Participant of the Minnesota Experiment)

Before ‘starvation mode’ kicked in and their bodies started holding on to fat. Now, will most people get to this point? Absolutely not, and yes they would need to gain weight. So the great news, is you can simply get as skiny as you’d like without having to worry about your body fighting you back. When your eating less than your burning, that’s when your body uses the extra fat you’ve got piled on for fuel. It will always use the food your consuming first. Once it runs out, it goes, ooh look at all this extra fat, I can use that to keep going, and converts it to energy. Fat is actually burned more efficiently than the sugars in your food. Which is why people often hit a euphoric stage after extended fasting. Their bodies start processing fat for fuel, which helps their brains and bodies function better, then when it was running of the sugars in their diet.

Now what about your metabolism you say? Surely that slows down with calorie restriction? Well yes, but it doesn’t come to a screeching hault like so many of us have been told. You will keep losing weight, but the smaller you get, the less energy you need. In order to maintain their weight, a 300 lbs man could easily consume twice as many calories as a 150 lbs man. The overweight man simply needs more calories in order to keep that extra weight on. If he lost all that weight and got to 150, he would need half the consumption to stay at 150. Now he could think, oh my gosh, my metabolism has slowed down so much, but that’s just not the case. If you get to a lower weight, your just going to need less calories to function. The only exception is for those who also gain a lot if mucle. If you excercise a ton, and have a lot of muscle, your body will naturally burn more calories, which means you can eat more. But just standard dieting will reduce your daily needed caloric intake. 

I swear this stuff just gets started from food and weight loss programs. Don’t eat too little, or you won’t lose weight? That’s like saying if you stop drinking water, your body is going to hold on to it and it’s called dehydration mode. No, you need water, and not drinking any, isn’t going to make your body magically hold on to extras. You’ll simply get dehydrated. And with food, you’ll simply lose weight. Simple, yet it’s got to be one of the most widespread diet myths out there. And clearly what is being taught isn’t working, as there is a huge weight problem going on right now. So maybe not listening to the standard diet process would be helpful?

I don’t know about the rest if you, but the most discouraging aspect of a diet is if you Don’t lose weight. It’s called burn out, because your not making any traction. If you stick to a supposed diet, and the scale stayes the same, it can be extremely frustrating. When your slimming down, you’re going, yeah I can do this. It’s just how our psyches work. Humans are results driven, and it’s practically impossible to stick to something that isn’t getting results, or getting them fast enough. If you were losing a few pounds a month, you’d have to have a will of iron to keep dieting. And the increase in diet plans along with the increase in waist bands, is proof normal people can’t do it either. 

So bottom line, you dont have to worry about starvation mode or destroying your metabolism while on a diet. Starvation mode is there to help you out when you really need to gain weight. Like when you are literally about to starve to death, not from cutting out dessert and snacks. And you don’t have to buy some fancy diet plan either. I never used one when I hit my weight goal, and trying to do a ‘standard’ diet, while worrying about starvation mode, is what made my weight go back up. Since I started ignoring it, I’ve gotten close to me goal again, and it shouldn’t take long to hit it. Then with intermittent fasting it will be easy to sustain, as well as healthy. Hopefully this helps with your diet, I wish I could have learned it sooner, but I’m more determined than ever now that I do.

How to break up with Food

It’s not always easy to see the bad relationships in our lives. We build up comfort levels with different items, and it becomes unhealthy before we realize it. Mine was with food, though I feel this has become a popular one. As a kid I didn’t obsess with food, I had a big apetite, but was never overweight. I just enjoyed food during meals. As I got older, I started eating a little less healthy, while daily stress kept growing. And thus, the stage of emotional eating began. Happy, sad, angry, whatever the mood, food makes it better. Or so I thought. However, it’s much more damaging to your emotional and physical health, and your self image. 

The important thing to realize is that if you actually are an emotional eater. When your full do you still think about food you want to eat? Is it a constant obsession throughout the day? Often times it’s a replacement for another toxic habit that you’ve quit, say smoking, drinking, or a bad ex. Everyone’s different, but from personal experience, fasting is what changed me. The one great thing about always wanting to eat, is that it doesn’t change whether your hungry or not. So once I decided to go on a water fast, the hardest part was already over with. Water fasts have started to become more popular, but at the same time, their changing water, to not just water. Not sure what’s up with that, but when I say water fast, I mean nothing but water. I did this for 5 days, while still working about 30 hours within the 5 days. It’s doable, and much easier than I thought. Granted I was expecting worse case, I was going to crash, pass out, get sick, and then have to eat something. But I didn’t, the worst part was a general weak feeling that came and went, some hunger pangs, and mood swings.

Now the hunger part is strange. I personally don’t mind feeling hungry, because it makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something, but during a water fast it comes in waves. You think the hunger will keep getting worse with time. But honestly it doesn’t. If you go a day without eating, the hungriest you feel, is about as hungry as I feel day five. It’s not constant either, you’ll get a hunger pang for a minute, and then nothing for hours. 

I’m not saying it’s easy, but the benefits are worth it. Want to kick start a diet? I lost 10 lbs during the 5 days of water only, and since I stuck to a healthy diet afterwards, that weight never came back. The fastest way to get burn out is to not see results. When you can physically see your clothes fit better, and getting looser, it keeps your motivation high. It’s also very healthy for you (as long as your not sick). Our bodies need time to recover, and water fasts give it a rest from constantly processing through food. The reason you can lose weight so fast is because after 2-3 days of not eating, your body starts converting your fat as fuel. Instead of just burning through the sugars it gets in it’s daily diet.

You are also put in a spot to figure out something to do besides eating. I would go, lets see it’s Tuesday, and I can’t eat till Saturday, so I can’t just think about food all the time. I also realized how much of my day was spent on grocery shopping, cooking, and eating, or eating out for some people. Which I realized was also a culprit to my attention for food. I had grown so accustomed to eating at certain times of the day, that of course I was going to think about food during those times. And if I tried to do a normal restrictive diet, I was so programed that I would get a certain amount of food during those times, that I always felt unsatisfied. It made me realize how my subconscious was betraying me. Fasting kicked me off this pattern, and helped my brain to not crave food at certain times of the day.

And it gives you an amazing feeling of control. Because it’s hard, it’s a gratifying feeling knowing your pushing yourself and accomplishing your goal. At one point I remember laughing to myself when I heard some women complaining that it was 6 or 7 and they hadn’t eaten since lunch. They were ‘starving’ to quote them, and I was thinking, I haven’t eaten for 4 days, so I’m sure you’ll be okay. The sense of control is one of the greatest benefits for emotional eaters as well. You can show yourself that you don’t need food, and you can choose what to eat and when to eat it. Not only that, but you start to lose your apetite. The cravings die down within the first 2-3 days, and then you naturally stop obsessing over food. I remember being on the fifth day, and a coworker brought in fudge brownies. After 5 days of keeping yourself under control, and being a day away from completion, do you think those brownies were tempting? Not in the slightest, if anything I was thinking don’t bring those near me, they don’t look appealing, and there is no possible way I would break now. Like I said, food loses it’s control.

Of course you have to properly monitor your health, but this gave my mind the psychological break through it needed to change it’s relationship with food. I’ve tried different fasts since then, such as eating whatever 1 day, and 2 days just water. The more I did this, the less I wanted to overeat. It took a month or so though. The most important factor is cutting cravings, which eventually led me to cutting out sugar and grains. Everything’s a work in progress, but I feel back in control again, after years of constantly fighting my cravings to eat. If your trying to ‘break up’ with an emotional relationship to food, this may be worth a try. Plus if you do overeat a day, just doing a 1 day water fast can bring you back down. It’s very useful to keep yourself in check, it also keeps you from being stressed even if you eat because you know how to drop your weight back down. Great trick for Holiday binges 🙂