Never say Never

I’m never going to overeat again. I’m never going to eat something I didn’t plan to eat again. I’m always going to stick to my diets and food plans.

This is something most people won’t say. Why? because we can instantly hear that nagging voice saying, well how do you know what will happen in the future? You’re going to fail again, you know you will, how many times have you failed before? and then you’ll just look like a liar.

How do you know? Well if you’ve ever been a food a holic, then those first statements are exactly what you need to be saying. Society (research institutes, a lot of big food companies, etc.) has definitely held us back in this area. Let me give you a different example:

An alcoholic: “I’m never drinking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Smoker: “I’m never smoking again”

Society: “Good for you”

Drug Addict: “I’m never doing drugs again”

Society: “Good for you”

Overeater/Overweight: “I’m never overeating again”

Society: “Now, wait just a minute, that’s an unrealistic goal to set for yourself, your just setting yourself up for failure, and once you do overeat, (because we all know you will) your just going to lose your confidence. No, you can’t say that, it’s too complicated to just say ‘never’. If people could do that we wouldn’t have all these diets. It’s impossible.

Can you see the blatent difference, and then what does society tell people when they do get off the bandwagon, say an alcoholic.

Alcoholic: I went two weeks and then I broke down and had a drink, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never drink again.

Society: Good for you, that’s the spirit, don’t let one set back ruin your hard work. You can do it!

Overeater/Overweight:  I went two weeks before I ate something not on my diet, I reflected on what went wrong and, I will use that to help in the future. I will never overeat again.

Society: See I told you you would fail. You’re goal is too high, that’s just part of being human, you can’t say never. You just failed, why are you saying your going to stick to it now, clearly you can’t. Diets are just a set up for failure, why are you even trying? You can’t say you will Never get off a diet, see what happens?

And it just continues. I mean how crazy is that? In a society where fat is killing at almost the same rates as cigarettes, and you aren’t allowed to say, I’ll never binge again. Your not setting yourself up for failure, if you can’t say it, your already admitting defeat. You’re acknowledging to yourself that you are not in control of yourself. Sure some people may need more help through the process then others, but it’s still for the same goal. To be the weight you want, and have the health you want. This takes control, and knowing things like, I am in full control of my body and what I eat. Not sometimes, not most of the time, but everyday all day. If I mess up, then I need to figure out what happened and how to fix it in the future. You will always be you in the present, when you control the you in this moment, you don’t have to worry about any other.

There is a book called ‘Never Binge Again’ by Glenn Livingston. If your an emotional eater, think about food all the time, or don’t think you can stick to a diet, this is definitely a worthwhile read. I stumbled upon it online, when I was researching why people overeat. I’d call it a revolutionary way to think and address food addiction. The main thing I have fought is not feeling miserable when I’m on a diet. When your doing great, and then someone walks by with a thick slice of pizza and the aroma lingers in the room. It can be hard to function on a diet while your living with normal people in society.

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Anyways, after reading the book, someone can be eating lasagna at work next to me, and I’m actually okay with it, normal, not miserable. Sometimes it puts me in a better mood, because I’m in such shock that I can be perfectly fine with it, when it would have been hell before. And maybe it won’t work as well for you, I’m usually a skeptic, but if it helps in some way, it would be worth it. I got the book for a free download on, I think, Amazon, just to add to my research. It’s not a diet either, just a way to address dieting, food, binging, and the like. If your like me and have (had) a love hate relationship with food, then it’s worth your time to read. I’m glad I did, but I’ll keep you posted with the results, I’ve been applying the methods for about a week, with a huge difference. I can confidently say, I Will Never Overeat Again For The Rest Of My Life 🙂

Can you?

Joyous June, wait it’s already here?

Can you believe it’s June 1’st 2017? Weren’t we just celebrating the new year? This is

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Can you believe it’s June 1’st 2017? Weren’t we just celebrating the new year? This is the other day of the year that I like to reflect on what I’ve done, and where I plan to go. June 1’st will always be a memorable day for me. It was the day I met a boy (isn’t that how it normally goes), who completely changed my life. Now the great thing about meeting someone, learning from them, having a crush, or falling in love, is that their participation is not required for your self growth. Sometimes our feelings run away, which may bring a whole set of challenges that we have never faced before. This is our moment to learn who who are, where we could improve, and what we are capable of. Did you ever do something completely out of character while under the influence of love? 

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It can change our personalities, opinions, passions, beliefs, even values. And it can swallow you up, which is when you see a person who has no self identify in a relationship. Or, you can take those and challenge yourself on every angle, clarifying who you are, sharpening your mind, self awareness, abilities, and the direction of your life.

I definitely chose the latter. Maybe not always consciously, but that’s just fine. As an individual I’ve grown from the connections with others. Weak minds can be easily swayed, manipulated, and controlled. Over confident minds do the exact same thing. If you learn to trust your instincts, take care of yourself, and never stop analyzing a situation, you will be protected from dishonest people. I’ve learned to expect the unexpected. Never allowing myself to think that I would always be able to tell if I was being deceived. Trust is built over long periods of time, where the person proves their character. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to guard against such people when I was a young teen, so I got to learn the hard way.

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However, the lessons I learned from those experiences had a profoundly positive impact on my life. Take advantage of hardships to grow in ways that others can’t. Life experiences can change you in ways that nothing else can. You can surprise yourself with your actions, thoughts, and words when your interacting with others. We all need quiet time, but it is important to see what happens when life gets challenging, and your thrust into a hectic situation. Do you stick to your values, do what you planned? Or does the pressure sway you into doing what others want? If so, why is that happening, and what can you do to change it?

Pain can serve as a motivator to improve our lives, and better our futures. Or, it could cause someone to give up, or stop trying. If you’ve gone through a tough painful situation, and have learned something from it, then you are making the most out of it, and using it to your advantage. Like I said, you don’t need another’s consent for them to improve your life. It just depends on you. I’ve learned some of my most valuable life lessons from some of the worst people. Painful experiences motivate me to figure out what the heck is going on, how to stop it, and how to prevent it from happening again. When things are going good, I don’t tend to make life altering decisions, because, well, things are going good, so why ruin it?

Have you ever become better or stronger after going through a negative relationship? Are you grateful for meeting the person, even though you’d never want to go through the situation again? You can let it hinder you, or use it as a launching point to develop yourself. Either way, looking back on the year so far, are you where you thought you’d be? June marks the halfway point. Is there anything you want to accomplish before we hit 2018. Now would be the opportune moment. I might not be able to do everything I want, or know everything I want, or even have everything I want, but I’m working hard each day for it. I’m satisfied with that. I’ve got goals, I’m improving myself a little each day, I know where I want to be, what I want to do, and I’m working to get there. I can be proud of that fact, even if things aren’t always perfect. Life can trip us up in a lot of ways, but you just have to keep moving forward. In other ways, life surprises us with great things we never saw coming. 

As for me, June 1’st will always be a day to remember, but what will it be for you?

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How to break up with Food

It’s not always easy to see the bad relationships in our lives. We build up comfort levels with different items, and it becomes unhealthy before we realize it. Mine was with food, though I feel this has become a popular one. As a kid I didn’t obsess with food, I had a big apetite, but was never overweight. I just enjoyed food during meals. As I got older, I started eating a little less healthy, while daily stress kept growing. And thus, the stage of emotional eating began. Happy, sad, angry, whatever the mood, food makes it better. Or so I thought. However, it’s much more damaging to your emotional and physical health, and your self image. 

The important thing to realize is that if you actually are an emotional eater. When your full do you still think about food you want to eat? Is it a constant obsession throughout the day? Often times it’s a replacement for another toxic habit that you’ve quit, say smoking, drinking, or a bad ex. Everyone’s different, but from personal experience, fasting is what changed me. The one great thing about always wanting to eat, is that it doesn’t change whether your hungry or not. So once I decided to go on a water fast, the hardest part was already over with. Water fasts have started to become more popular, but at the same time, their changing water, to not just water. Not sure what’s up with that, but when I say water fast, I mean nothing but water. I did this for 5 days, while still working about 30 hours within the 5 days. It’s doable, and much easier than I thought. Granted I was expecting worse case, I was going to crash, pass out, get sick, and then have to eat something. But I didn’t, the worst part was a general weak feeling that came and went, some hunger pangs, and mood swings.

Now the hunger part is strange. I personally don’t mind feeling hungry, because it makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something, but during a water fast it comes in waves. You think the hunger will keep getting worse with time. But honestly it doesn’t. If you go a day without eating, the hungriest you feel, is about as hungry as I feel day five. It’s not constant either, you’ll get a hunger pang for a minute, and then nothing for hours. 

I’m not saying it’s easy, but the benefits are worth it. Want to kick start a diet? I lost 10 lbs during the 5 days of water only, and since I stuck to a healthy diet afterwards, that weight never came back. The fastest way to get burn out is to not see results. When you can physically see your clothes fit better, and getting looser, it keeps your motivation high. It’s also very healthy for you (as long as your not sick). Our bodies need time to recover, and water fasts give it a rest from constantly processing through food. The reason you can lose weight so fast is because after 2-3 days of not eating, your body starts converting your fat as fuel. Instead of just burning through the sugars it gets in it’s daily diet. 

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You are also put in a spot to figure out something to do besides eating. I would go, lets see it’s Tuesday, and I can’t eat till Saturday, so I can’t just think about food all the time. I also realized how much of my day was spent on grocery shopping, cooking, and eating, or eating out for some people. Which I realized was also a culprit to my attention for food. I had grown so accustomed to eating at certain times of the day, that of course I was going to think about food during those times. And if I tried to do a normal restrictive diet, I was so programed that I would get a certain amount of food during those times, that I always felt unsatisfied. It made me realize how my subconscious was betraying me. Fasting kicked me off this pattern, and helped my brain to not crave food at certain times of the day.

And it gives you an amazing feeling of control. Because it’s hard, it’s a gratifying feeling knowing your pushing yourself and accomplishing your goal. At one point I remember laughing to myself when I heard some women complaining that it was 6 or 7 and they hadn’t eaten since lunch. They were ‘starving’ to quote them, and I was thinking, I haven’t eaten for 4 days, so I’m sure you’ll be okay. The sense of control is one of the greatest benefits for emotional eaters as well. You can show yourself that you don’t need food, and you can choose what to eat and when to eat it. Not only that, but you start to lose your apetite. The cravings die down within the first 2-3 days, and then you naturally stop obsessing over food. I remember being on the fifth day, and a coworker brought in fudge brownies. After 5 days of keeping yourself under control, and being a day away from completion, do you think those brownies were tempting? Not in the slightest, if anything I was thinking don’t bring those near me, they don’t look appealing, and there is no possible way I would break now. Like I said, food loses it’s control. 

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Of course you have to properly monitor your health, but this gave my mind the psychological break through it needed to change it’s relationship with food. I’ve tried different fasts since then, such as eating whatever 1 day, and 2 days just water. The more I did this, the less I wanted to overeat. It took a month or so though. The most important factor is cutting cravings, which eventually led me to cutting out sugar and grains. Everything’s a work in progress, but I feel back in control again, after years of constantly fighting my cravings to eat. If your trying to ‘break up’ with an emotional relationship to food, this may be worth a try. Plus if you do overeat a day, just doing a 1 day water fast can bring you back down. It’s very useful to keep yourself in check, it also keeps you from being stressed even if you eat because you know how to drop your weight back down. Great trick for Holiday binges 🙂

When did you decide to think?

It’s interesting how we can grow attached to things that are present in our daily lives. We can look at an item, which hasn’t changed, but see it differently because we have changed. Just a side note, but I was thinking of it because I had to get one of my Violin strings repaired. The string got pulled too tight, and Snap. It seemed so sad, like it was damaged, even though it’s a quick fix. I knew that, and still their was an emotional connection. I wonder why humans project so much of themselves onto the items around them. I mean people name their cars, lucky items, even a volleyball ‘Wilson’. We could just look at things subjectively, this is such and such material. But it seems people like to give life to the things around them, take the movies Toy Story, or Cars, we give inanimate objects personalities, stories, and lives. Just like kids playing with dolls and action figures. 

What’s your connotation of glasses? Just glass and metal or?

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After all, the only view we can see the world from is our own. Our minds like to create, and give meaning to the things around us, which creates attachments to items. But the great thing about it is that it causes us to assign our values differently. Otherwise we would all want the same thing. Our minds projections create our preferences, our likes and dislikes. Things that I’ve had for years, don’t look the same, because I have memories attached to them, and a sense of familiarity. That’s one reason I find psychology fascinating. How many things are our brains doing that we’re not even aware of? We like to say ‘my mind’, but it’s not as though we’re running it. There wasn’t a point in my life when I decided to start thinking. I was doing that before I could ever think about it. 

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Maybe our projection is the reason we feel our bodies are ‘ours’. They are always with us, yet if you lose a piece of your body, do you lose a piece of yourself? Your mind? Or are our minds seperate from our bodies? They had one article where some doctor wants to transplant a brain into a different body, no joke, serious mad scientist, but it really is creepy. What if your brain was transferred into another body? Would it still be you, and is your attachment to your body just a mental projection of us humans attaching emotional value to things they are always around? If just your mind was moved, would you lose part of yourself? I do know one thing, I don’t plan on volunteering for that experiment in order to find out 🙂 

And my violin is good as new 🎻 

The Emotions of Your Will Power

Alright so my research these last few days brought me to the effects of sugar. Now sugar has a lot of known health effects, and basically doesn’t have a good side. The less you have, the better it is for your health. There is another factor that sugar affects, however, and that is one’s emotional health. Sugar consumption releases chemicals in your brain, which also affects your blood levels, and gets your adrenaline going. Not the most scientific explanation, but all these physical changes also change you emotionally.

This is easy to see in adults, as well as kids. I’m sure most people have gone through a sugar crash before, and have seen how much it can affect your mood. The other factor is that self control is also tied to your emotions. Some studies are saying that self control is entirely an emotion. Now, this brought me back to my original research. If sugar affects your emotions, and will power is largely affected by emotions, then couldn’t sugar potentially be very damaging for long term goals? It’s known to be damaging for your health, so couldn’t it also damage your emotional health? Which in turn reduces your self control, and your discipline to stick to your goals. I can’t scientifically prove it, but it makes sense if you connect the dots. 

Personally, I don’t like sugar. I don’t like it in the way that once I eat it, I want more and more, and it’s just a downward spiral. I’ve never been at a comfortable point with sugar, where I can just consume small amounts in moderation. Though some research shows, depending on personality, this could be like having a cigarette a day, and trying not to grow an addiction. Well, for me it would be easier to cut out sugar completely, then to try to have a little daily and not grow an unhealthy addiction. So I have decided to cut sugar out of my diet. I went through the fridge and there are only a few things I can eat, lol. Even the lunch meat had some sugar, (supposed to be healthy kind). Oh well, at least the tahini didn’t, so I can use that for sandwiches. 

My classification for ‘sugar’ includes all sugar additives. I’m counting things like evaporated cane juce, beet sugar, coconut sugar, etc. Though I think (raw) honey is okay.

Alright, so even if will power is not a muscle, there are things we can do to improve our emotional health so that we can make better decisions. Well it definitely doesn’t hurt to cut out sugar even if it’s not tied to willpower at all. You’ll get a lot of benefits by removing it from your diet, minus the cravings for it. I don’t consume much processed food to begin with, but I do have a pretty big sweet tooth. I’m planning to switch this out with fruit, and hopefully that will get rid of sweet cravings eventually. I’m already thinking of all the desserts I will miss. But the heath benefits outweigh the negatives, and the cravings should get better with time. 

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