I’ve recently been doing some spring cleaning, well better late than never. Seeing the things I’ve held onto was an interesting perspective on human psychology. I had so many things that served no functionable purpose, except they were attached to a memory, along with a lot of stuff that was somewhat broken but thought, well you never know, I’ll get it fixed, or I could need it some day. How much stuff do we stay attached to, that doesn’t actually help us? The amusing part was that I had thought I had already gotten rid of anything I didn’t need. Then I was thinking, really, you thought you needed this?
There was one box that I almost didn’t go through, because I knew I had gone through it before and so I needed everything in it. I figured what the heck, I can try again, and when I did, I realized how many memoroabilias I had been keeping. Things that would just be junk normally, scraps of paper, broken trinkets, brochures, etc., I had assigned meaning to. But the stuff I should have gotten rid of years ago, was stuff from damaging relationships, friends, bosses, coworkers, etc..
I would hold onto these things to remind myself of the past, but then I realized I have been carrying around these people with me. And jeez they’re heavy. I had this, screw this moment, and got rid off all of it. I want to keep looking forward, not be pulled back into those moments where I had doubt and regret and fear of failure. I can remember them well enough, without carrying them in a box. I was really just surprised with myself. I had enough nerve to end those jobs/relationships etc. but not to get rid of the items attached to them? So strange. Well that’s one load off my shoulders now. The funny thing was I was so certain throwing it away would be stressfull, but it felt really good when I actually did. It was like, that part of my life is over, so I’m going to treat it as such. I’m not bringing you with me, there was a reason it ended in the first place. It felt liberating getting rid off all that junk and clutter. And the best part is feeling like you have more space for the future, instead of being weighed down by the past. I can’t believe I couldn’t do it years ago, but I’m glad I did now. Maybe it just means you’ve grown emotionally, once you can let go of the past, well hopefully anyways, that or my dislike for clutter has just gotten stronger 🙂